Featured

Trust Future Forward Goreblot

Trust is such an interesting intangible thing in which we place it and how it’s placed, in what, as if it needs a pedestal or safe container or containment. Much like time is and it keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking, into the future.
Or slipping rather…

I try to keep up, I do.  My last post was a bearing of the soul, a little sharing of my internal struggles and path journeying.  This post brings us back to the good ol’ Goreblot fortunes routine!  I’m in high spirits that I will maintain a regular thing.  I just have to snuggle into a spot.  What say you? Did Fortune Fridays work for you? We’ll figure it out 😉 Let’s get on with it shall we?!

It’s been too long, and now as I write, I feel most alive today where I felt the first kiss of spring on my skin, and a rejuvenation to my soul.  When the air feels clean like this, and everything thawed, there’s no holding back from feeling inspired and motivated.

There’s just a whole bunch more bounce in the step. No resistance, but an excited ease into everything.  Sure, it may be unnatural to have such a climate in February, where the ground was frozen solid but last week.  I found myself walking over an ice-laden beach for a morning stroll. Treacherous. And not much before that I was walking through a snow blizzard along the shores, though still I witnessed some brave souls out there in the waters paddle boarding in the winter surf.

Now, people are out enjoying the rays in mild weather and our calendared seasons are starting to write themselves.

Our environment is changing and our climate, there is no denying the evidence as it stares directly at us. I try to make sure I get outside as much as possible to commune with nature and drink in what I can. Observing the changing hues of the sky, the blustery winds, the animals and bugs scurrying about. There’s so much to learn. I finally (I say finally because I have been wanting to for quite some time) took up studying moths last year. An opportunity unravelled for me where I was lucky to study with other amateurs as well as the pros outside and under the stars. We looked at white sheets for hours, this is how mothing is done. Looking, pointing, taking pictures, writing down the names, awkwardly leafing through the pages of the moth guide. It’s an entire world worth exploring, and that’s just one fraction.

moth on a sheet
Painted Lichen Moth

Eventually, it will be birding, bugging, gardening…

We are so caught up in this world of attainment, consumerism, status, life marking milestones, as well as fighting for ‘rest’ in front of screens, the ubiquitous term of ‘adulting’ slithers in, then we start to lose touch of what’s right under our noses. Other than our smart phones or touchy screen pad things. We want to feel accomplishment, but sometimes it’s hard to decipher just what that is and what that means.

Goreblot Time

With that being said, let’s look into your fortunes and see what kind of guidance a Goreblot can offer. Think of an issue or question you may have and then listen to your first gut impression by picking one of these words: 1. Bile 2. Beget 3. Blasphemy. Then scroll down to find your corresponding Goreblot paintomancy fortune.

Bile, Beget, Blasphemy in text

If you chose 1. Bile
Bile painting
Bile. Delicious digestive fluids. Breakdown and purify those little nuggets that enter in. There’s too much of something that’s wreaking havoc on your system. You need to take stock and figure out what’s going on with you. Or within you.

Your body has layers of accumulated toxins that dance in your fluid streams, vessel streams. Weaving and bobbing, circulating. These toxins catch, pile up, becoming a thick, tar-like mass.

These fluids dance and flit around, dispersing into finer bubbles, gradually becoming more emulsified into one contained, mayonnaise-like fluid. Thick, and spreadable.

Retracing the ingredients and the steps before they all were blended up is what is needed. It’ll be a bit like remembering every step you made in an improv. You acted without thinking, but your body knows and takes stock, it takes all the field notes and then starts reading them back to you. The notes might not make entire sense, translation running through a sort of thick, coagulated, line of gobbledygook.

So it’s up to you to take a step back and simplify. Subtract some ingredients for a while and give your system a break. Perhaps, use one choice ingredient to help unclog and drain your overtaxed pipes. It’s only a matter of time before you start oozing, leaking and/or shutting down as your body is want to do.

When it’s had enough.

Take care! and find a cleansing tonic to expel the buildup, take it consistently until you start seeing improvements. Just stop, rewind, be kind and minimize and simplify. Subtract more, rather than adding more. A simple equation to balance yourself out again.

Find out what seeds you’re eating as a past time activity and you’ll find out what you’re growing…

If you chose 2. Beget
red and green swirly painting
Beget. Beholden. Betrothed. Be. The social pressures of yesteryear are gone. Who are you tricking but yourself? To anticipate what others are going to do and how they are going to react, does not leave space for unpredictable variables.

You hold yourself down anticipating, calculating and trying to predict, making your moves according to how other people may or may not act. Dancing, you are dancing around seemingly strategically. However, you are so not in control. You cannot predict the outcome or the reaction of another as far as you think you can, and in fact, not only are you holding yourself back and giving yourself a disservice, you are not giving any chance on that other person or people. It’s a disrespect. A failure of trust.

Forget thinking you are doing any good trying to make the best step because at this point, you haven’t made any steps. There’s no rush, but just know you won’t get anywhere if you stand still or backtrack and calculate repeatedly. Backtracking will just make you step backwards even further.

Michael Jackson’s moonwalk may appear backwards (or forwards), but pay attention to the physical direction he’s taking. It’s only backwards because he’s not facing the direction he’s going in (or is he going in a direction? or standing still?). Overall, the moonwalk is creating an illusion, of sliding backwards while pushing forward. The illusionist, however, is still going in the direction he’s intended. Tricking you. Smoothing over things. You may put forth all these steps, but ultimately you are still choosing the direction you are going in. So perhaps take the moonwalk as a cue in how you approach your issue – take the steps and look at it from an entirely different direction. You may have to reverse or invert. Where you may be looking out and back, you may need to look forward and in instead. And perhaps, stop tricking yourself. You may be creating all this illusion, but still not moving anywhere and that’s what you’ve decided unbeknownst to yourself.

Most importantly, follow the direction that suits you and please don’t worry about stepping on any toes. Other people have just as much will and an agenda of their own to move and get out of the way or go somewhere else entirely. Or perhaps dance with you. Whatever the case may be. I know it’s not easy, but, trust.

Go forward, be smooth, are you ok? are you ok? I’d say you’re ok…

If you chose 3. Blasphemy
spiral painting with and x
Blasphemy. Against a grain. Spitting on belief. Core centre. Spiral. Have you ever walked a straight line?

No two paths are the same and you are not a bad person to follow what is true to you. But know your impulses, know your tendencies and most importantly, be aware of something that’s much bigger than you. Whatever that looks like to you. Whether it’s a galaxy universe, a deity or god, mother nature, there’s a whole sphere or atmosphere that is beyond your centre. Stroking the inside so much can create these habit loops, these spirals of repetition that find you following your impulses without a conscious mind.

If you want to make your way out, break the chain. You need some support and you need some belief. With support and belief comes trust. It’s so hard, it seems, to trust these days isn’t it? As it’s a way of leaving ourselves vulnerable to unknowns and intangibles. But if you can decide to believe and trust, there can be a sense of relief that you fall into, as it alleviates stressful questions.

Have you ever walked a straight line? Try it. Try a walking meditation where you aim to walk straight, focusing on the line that draws from your feet, your body and how it progresses forward. If you’re on a sidewalk and there’s people you may need to be slow and steady, be aware of your surroundings but still manage your ease and focus. Notice other people move around you, notice the energy they carry and pass it by mindfully aware. Keep to your straight line as much as possible, breathing deep and relaxed. Gaze softened, but still managing to look further ahead to a vanishing point. Observe and feel what is happening in your peripheries.

Remember to notice your breath. Notice when your breath starts to hold or notice where it stops. Notice what thoughts are happening, or what exterior factor is influencing your breath. Finally, trust in your direction, the line and moving forward. Observe the things and people passing through your sphere and remember the sphere that you are on, the Earth. We are all passing through. Your support is your belief and your unabashed trust.

You are…

I hope these Goreblots see you well into the weekend. If you have any questions you can find me here Have a good one!

Love and Guts,
Doc

Featured

Goreblot Ghost

doc goreblot looking at the comfort maple
Comfort Maple
“True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.” ~Francois de La Rochefoulcauld

In these winter days, time slips through my papery fingers like slippery sand granules.

When there are not many markers like a routine job to go to, any people I regularly see, or life milestones, I get lost adrift in my own world like an apparition. I become a ghost.

When I was living with my parents, my dad called me a ghost. He exclaimed, “I hardly ever see you, you always go up to your room.  You’re like a ghost in this house.”
My dad is now passed, so ironically he is now the ghost of the house. But, I can’t help but hear his words echo inside my ear these days.

Yes, I’ve been a ghost to this website. I’ve been a ghost to friends and social media. I’ve been but an apparition nervously flitting around trying to find the light.  Trying to find my way. Part of this ghosting is in my history and in my nature. Perhaps, some is due to my being adopted and having awkward attachment issues.

Soul searching can go on for a really, really long time. I think it’s a continuous process anyways. I’ve experimented with different dieting and exercise regime to shake me up and start seizing the day. I made lots of attempts that resulted in lots of failures. I’d make commitments to classes in hopes that somewhere attending those classes, I’d find myself.  Or gain some confidence.

I have been reading lots of self-help and philosophy books which I find do help (I’ll make a list below), but take up a good amount of time to read (because screen distraction in these times break up my attention span even more).  And reading doesn’t always offer immediate insight. But hold on, is there a rush? Insight seems to come at it’s own pace, I’ve found, and through experience.  I simply cannot rush insight, no matter how much I stare and squint at that pot waiting for it to boil. It’s one thing to read and philosophize about a concept and then preach about it, and it’s another thing to actually practice it. One needs to experiment and try things out and eventually something will happen where you will experience something and that’s where the knowledge of insight embeds itself unto/into you.  Take that self!

In these ghost days, I haven’t been completely still.  I have been getting a variety of readings like Tarot, practicing reading my own cards and doing some journalling. I’ve even tried out Past Life Regression, an unexpectedly vivid and intense experience where I gathered some interesting information.  With all these experiences, insights, my darlings, were weeping out of my pores.  But it still seemed like I was dancing around something.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

All of these fantastic attempts at finding some grounding, finding some purpose. But the key I found was finding simplicity and that there is no one key.  As things were expanding, there was some natural contracting to the heat of each moment. But keeping things simple and organized and clear, feels like a definite key to finding myself some grounding and stabilization.

I have anxiety issues that can tumble into depression. Or vice versa. I’ve been able to find the triggers, mostly, and surprise, those are in diet and physical stresses.  It can be so obvious, these straight forward cues, but somehow we can get so embedded in our habits, it’s tricky to remove yourself and look in.  It takes acceptance, and objective observance to really stab at what’s going on underneath the surface.

So back to simplicity- now, I am a person who never got structure drilled in at a young age. I was never told to do chores or make my bed. I didn’t have a particular time where I studied or did my homework, it was always last minute. So I have an extra hard time of creating my own structure.

looking out to the waters
Looking Out- Photo by Harley Pageot

I could sit and hideaway forever like a ghost and not have to deal with people and stressors, but I know as much as anyone I have an itch to scratch and part of that is to come out and seize a purpose that shapes my life. There is too much passion in me to be a ghost and flit about for too long.  There is only so much hiding and feeling sad about hiding that can be done.

I’ve returned to repeated points where I would get tired of myself, the same thoughts and patterns happening over and over. Tired of not putting a foot out there, tired of not trying hard enough.  My history speaks of attempts, but also I must not overlook the successes as they are proof that I can be more and do more.

Simplicity comes to me in form of not trying to tackle all the things, but methodically replacing the bad habits or inserting particular structures.  I also need a slight amount of effort to quiet that convincing drill sergeant in my head.  I’m sure you have one too, screaming in your ear, shouting demands and surely some painful insults to go with them.

To help quiet that sergeant just a little more, I need to remember, and have reminders that, I am enough.  I am worthwhile.

I always knew mornings had something to them every time I’ve attempted to integrate them into my life. Mornings are where things happen. And this is across the board in some research that I have read.  It really is as simple as aligning with nature, where quiet starts and awareness starts taking place.

I discovered making my bed every morning has snowballed into other structure making habits. This stuff is CBT, is yoga practice, is mindfulness, is Ayurveda – it all connects to this idea of simple awareness.  This return to mindful practice.

I can’t stress enough that it isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Especially, where we’re in a world now where our default is to claw around and wrestle with ‘busyness’, stress about future things, agonize about past things and fight for our time.  Time that seems steadily slipping through our key tapping fingers, our gaze, miles away from our bodies.

This is a time now to know that every moment is an opportunity.  An opportunity to live and feel how I want to feel.  Everything else, future worries, past regrets, are just phantoms.  I relinquish my self imposed ghost status as it no longer serves me.

I hope you do the same and become solid with me.

You can find me here, and also here, come say hi!

Love and Guts,

Doc Goreblot

**Here are some helpful books that I have found very useful.

-The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron Ph. D.

here

When And Where There’s A Will Goreblot Fortune

Will you be?

“We may think will-power is involved, but more likely…change is due to want power.  Wanting the new addiction more than the old one.  Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now.” ~George A. Sheehan, physician and senior athlete.

We all know the old idiom “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”.  In the 1600’s it was slightly different, To him that will, ways are not wanting.  We want will! But sometimes our ways get the better of us and then we have to find where that will went to.

It’s divvying up our stores of will and pushing to find answers because we want something badly enough.  Willpower is a muscle we have to flex and strengthen in order to make things work in our favour.  And depending how you’ve accumulated certain habits that get in the way, your will powers might have weakened.  But if we believe in something wholeheartedly enough, if we allow ourselves some faith, it can be enough to drive us to our goals.  It’s that word ‘enough’, that tips or overflows the needing of something to happen, that it’s just enough to push us.

Change is going to happen whether we like it or not.  There is always a force unseen tinkering with our daily lives and expectations.  How we deal with these forces and potentially make some our own, is completely up to our will.

If you find you are struggling to find a way, know that the struggle is a good sign, it’s a sign that you want to make actionable change, you have the will! It is in you, and even though it may take time to find the way, and find the force within you, it will come out and it will be glorious!

To help with finding ways, I managed to think of looking up an app for focus as I have terrible struggles with my own focus, personally.  Keeping on task is something I truly have a hard time with and so my will is there to change this and transform this.  You poke at something long enough with a stick, eventually it’s going to budge, even if you just poked it with the stick a bit harder.

So here’s the app I was talking about.  I’m using it now as I type and rattle on.  I’ve tried an egg timer but I keep forgetting to think about using it.  And since these are times of digital habits, it makes sense to just go with the tools that we easily reach for anyways.  Why make the fight harder, when you can be slightly sneaky about it?

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/focus-keeper-work-study-timer/id830466924?mt=8

I’m still fresh to it, but the chunking of time is real clever and makes things manageable.  The ticking sounds help put a cadence to my focus as well.

And one more I discovered to try using is a brain training app.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.lumoslabs.lumosity&hl=en

This one seems to be good to train those uncomfortable places, slowly reach new goals each day, only takes a moment of your time and could be used when you are in transit or waiting in line or something.

The goal is always to find ways to improve ourselves.  Finding ways to poke around and explore and discover.  If you’re finding you’re stuck, instead of focusing on all the things that make you stuck, try a different approach, a sneaky approach, a teeny tiny thing you can implement each day.  And if you’d like some guidance, try a Goreblot down below and see where it takes you!

On to the Goreblot fortunes!

A while back I posted….

xray of vertebrae bones

Think of an issue you would like to address, listen to your gut, then pick a number and scroll down.  Your corresponding Goreblot fortune awaits you!

If you chose #1….

orange watercolour

Body Slam.  What’s your jam?  How do you move day to day? Do you slouche?  Do you hunch? Are you sitting mostly? Standing? Do you find certain body parts protrude more than you’d like?

Posture is something everyone battles with.  How you are holding yourself is a symptom to how you train your body the entire day.  If you train your body to sit mostly, maybe with a wallet in your back pocket, you are training your hips to be imbalanced, having one higher than the other.  This eventually leads to other problems down the road that will involve your back, your spine.

With these odd trainings, your body will compensate the imbalances in weird ways.  Indeed, it takes work to train the body opposite to what you’ve been unknowingly training it to do.  But even 5 minutes per day of an exercise to counter the imbalance can do wonders.

Every movement you make is a type of practice for your body.  A physical training.  That is, if you are sitting most of your days, you are training your body to be sedentary.  Low activity.

Your physical training directly corresponds to your mental health.  That is, your body will translate what’s going on through your brain, through your body in various symptoms.  Stress is a big one and your body will let you know pretty easily when you are stressed.  But it can also be sneaky because we often don’t think we are stressed.

Not getting enough sleep? Watching Netflix too late in the evening? Checking your email before or even in bed? Watch out for these habits, as artificial lighting will translate and accumulate into your body’s responses to other things you throw at it.

If you want to read a little more on the effects of light on the body subject: http://www.lightingservices.com/lighting-human-biological-behaviour

Here’s a song to get you tumbling and tinkering around in your body:

If you chose #2…
green and red watercolour

Thick and syrupy.  Mind sluggish and scattered.  Combating the drain, fighting for energy levels, will-power, and your attention.  Your need to focus.  Everything is an interruption.  Hunger, boredom, children, pets and phone calls.  If you’re on the computer or your phone, your attention and time seems doomed.  Your will-power has finite ability and you only have so much supply of it in one day.

Then, habits kick in, you go on automatic pilot, and you find yourself plugged in.  Remember the 1999 science fiction movie, The Matrix? Where everybody’s perceived reality is actually a simulated world that they are plugged into called, the matrix.  Human beings subdued by robots that use their internal energy sources for electrical power.  Not too far off from where we are today. (social media is like simulated worlds, our energy goes into them, and data gets collected for companies and ads- robots collecting energy!).

You are still opting to be in that simulated world.  That’s ok, but you have a feeling and you know there’s more out there.  If you could just break free.

I encourage you to pull the plug.  Turn off the switch.  Go for a walk with just you and nature.  Sit in the dark with just yourself and meditate.  You will probably start to experience an itchy, creeping feeling when you first attempt to practice this.  It is only anxiousness, fear, something you learned, and it’s bubbling up because you are attempting to break it’s cycle.

That moment when you get washed over with these feelings, thoughts flood in, future and past lists of things well up in your brain, all syrupy and drowning your sense of peace.  Drowning your awareness of the unthreatening present.  All that energetic heat you are letting bundle in your nervous system and giving power to, you are giving power to the matrix.  We all do it, every once and a while, we let our energy go in places that are simulated.  Simulated by our own brains, simulated by technology.  Navigating through screens, and unseen depths, and fears.

Just know, you have the power to unplug.  You can take that red pill and awaken.  Release those simulated worlds that have a hold on you, and find your powerful true nature.  In the present.

Here’s a little red pill song anthem to get you going:

If you chose #3…
gooey watercolour

Vague parasite.  Connecting with people.  Absent crush.  Writhing inside while around people who writhe on the outside.  When alone things about yourself emerge.

There will always be this little thing that eats at you.  Things you should have done, things you should have said.  The little ‘what if’ parasite.  It takes you from yourself.  Takes you from totally being free and being yourself around others.

The freeze, the filter, the holding your truth back.  The worry that something about you may trigger another person’s sensitivities.

Truth is, everyone has their own little parasites.  And they all have different combinations of them, picking them up along the way from different environments, different sandboxes of experiences. How much are those little worms holding you back? How much do you tip toe around other people to avoid confrontation and to avoid their parasites?

If you opened your mouth a little more, things will come out, they will disperse.  You cannot control something once it’s outside of you.  Once something has left your being, an action, a word, whatever, it is no longer just yours.  Other people will react, other people will act accordingly around your stuff.  That is not to say, don’t take responsibility for your actions.  It is to say, that you cannot control what other people are going to do about it.  Only you can continually work on you.

Try practicing less filtering. Remember those sandbox days when there were no worries, and there was only sand to play with.  Those castles you made and then tore down.  You may have torn someone else’s sand creation down, either on purpose or by accident.  But there was always sand, there were always hands to rebuild those castles.

Impermanence permeates life.  The struggles and suffering you create and cling to, is just that, a clinging.  But everything passes.  Sand gets washed away.

Parasites can get the better of us, so here’s a song to shake some of them out…

I hope these Goreblots meet you well! Contemplate and release this Libra Full Moon. And if you need, don’t be afraid to get in touch!

Love and Guts,
Doc G.

Distraction Action Goreblot Fortunes

“Maybe a spot of cocaine would help…”

Oh distractions. I cannot lie.  When it comes to to-do lists and checklists, I make them, but they’re never in an organized fashion.  I waste my time being distracted, so much so that I believe it is a disorder, it is chronic distraction, a real, very real problem.  I have all the good intent, but somewhere along the road when I have or am gaining momentum, I run amok and self-sabotage my efforts.  This happens through distractive impulses.  It’s like I can’t help it!

What happens is the priorities in my mind instantly get shuffled when a thought enters, a curiosity passes through nabbing my attention and without even thinking, I oblige it.  I satiate many of these thought impulses by following through, like looking up a question on Google, going to a store, leaving the room to look in another room.  It’s like the nagging is too much and since I know I can satisfy it if I act on it immediately, then I just do so.  Where’s the harm?

It’s an attention grabbing dance

A dance of distractions.  A dance of avoidance, because it seems so hard to just sit for a moment, unfurl and give in to one task.  All I need is enough focus for one task.  But it is such a struggle.  And the struggle is real my friends.

It’s incredible how much distractive habits can get the better of you.  Like pulling the lever over and over at the slot machine, waiting for the next combo of items to pop up and anticipating that satisfying winning feeling.  If the feeling doesn’t come right away, that’s ok, I’m on my ass anyways, might as well do another round, again, what’s the harm?

The chemicals are real and they want to steal my brain juice!

Amazing how much focus a distraction can steal.  Why is that? Why do all the click bait, Google searches, pacing around distractives get all the attention? Instant gratification.  The very fact that we get addicted to plugging into those sweet sweet dopamine centres (see what I did there? I inserted a link for you to go on a tangent and read more therefore encouraging this distractive habit).

We are forever chasing the next fix.  Or are we running from boredom and responsibility? Feeling itchy and unsettled with the quiet.  Feeling anxious to be with our own thoughts and unconnected to the world.  Anxious about missing out and getting that instant feedback.  Notifications are crack and for people like me that don’t get out much and connect with humans that often, it can be lethal.

There is definitely something to it all….

At least I can say I’m self aware.  I am very aware of this situation and I am trying to get myself out of the pickling that I throw myself into.

There are moments where I’ll get up and feel and see the environment around me and how big it is.  Like waking up and realizing there is still a world that’s real that surrounds my physical being.  It’s a breath of fresh air and sometimes literally when I’m able to drag myself outside.

goreblot fortunes time

Without further talk about distractions, to which I could run many tangents on and thoughts on – all the puns intended.  I bring you another episode of Goreblot fortunes. This time brought to you by the lovely stages of rosemary steeped in water.

rosemary in water

Thinking of a question or issue you’d like some guidance towards, pick a number and scroll down to find your corresponding Goreblot fortune. I paint and write each individual fortune through a reading style I call paintomancy. Please dive in and see what your guts have to say!

  1. Rosemary light

Disperse. Emergence.  Particle.  Immerse yourself into new depths.  You are discovering you have come to a point where you can really spread out and test your skills.  Question your limits and what limits you have set upon yourself.  Begin again with new defying wonder and curiosity of the simple ingredients that already exist in your cupboard.

Take your mind to new magics and new possibilities.  Awaken and explore.  You are as ready as a stream of cream becoming a huge cloud in it’s new coffee home.

At first, the simple space and freedom seems daunting, but you will find your edges. You will reach the perfect fit.  It just takes that first drip, that first drizzle or pour and then you open up the floodgates to a new world.

There’s the sense sometimes that unexplored territory is still somehow, somewhat familiar, yeah? Perhaps you explored it so much with your mind that physically going there was just making it more solid for you.

Perhaps this is why it took so long to initiate, you having visited this place so many times before with your mind.  You visited and explored all the angles so many times with your mind’s eye.

This is your time to initiate the real.  Begin and initiate beyond the spark of an idea.  Set into motion and explore and create.  Experiment and toy with the depths.  There is no losing in this action, only gaining such things as perspective, momentum and most certainly, insight.

So take a moment and rise above. Here’s your song to jam to for the coming weekend and week.

 

2. Rosemary medium
rosemary medium

We are such romantics sometimes when it comes to our expectations. We dream up situations and how its all going to go down. We anticipate the following steps to our one step. It’s exciting. Anticipation is the best feeling even before the final result as you get to imagine, excitedly, what is to come next.

Perhaps, not all situations are exciting. There’s the possibility that the delicate balance of excite can tip into anxiousness and nervousness. Notice at what point does it tip? Where does the excitement end and the anxiety begin? As if to say you can’t allow yourself the luxury of happy anticipation. It has to come crashing down with worry because the world has so many factors that could make it go wrong.

You find yourself suspended, blocked and paralyzed. You no longer want to anticipate happily, instead you default to crunching into a ball and biting your nails, drinking alcohol, or curling back into bed. All those succulent coping mechanisms come swirling in to soothe.

Why is anticipation so worrisome? At what point did you switch? The expectations then become external and you project them on what you think others expect from you. Soon your whole world becomes this one big demand on top of more demands but still nothing has budged.

So this is a call to reel (or real) yourself back in. Centre yourself and ground yourself with tangibles. Turn off your expectation projections and remind yourself of the joys of not knowing. Allow your future self to handle it however it is going to happen. And really see your present self in the process, getting lost in the steps and enjoying what is, no care of future expectations and bombardments because you know you have yourself covered. Right now.

Why put it off another day? Here’s your anthem for the weekend and coming week.

3. Rosemary dark
dark rosemary

Deep and glandular. The process has been seen through to this beautiful age. You can finish here whatever you have started. There is something really satisfying in following your process. Tracking each accomplished step, marking it and charting it.

Each step was satisfaction because you remained curious and open the entire time. There may have been some uncomfortable struggles, but you knew that was part of it, you’ve been there before. Uncomfortable struggles are what make us learn and grow. If we were comfortable all the time, we’d end up a potato, brain and organs, all potato.

Just remember this accomplishment, whether small or big. Take note, in fact, of all your triumphs. Spin a true tale of yourself when the going gets rough and do not let yourself slip into the trines of negative self-talk habits. You have the power to spin things around. You have worked hard and no one should have the power to take that away from you.

No one knows your history like you do.

Often times after seeing a project through to completion, there are stages of celebration and then stages of grievances. After the initial achievement, there is the inevitable come down from that high. It is imperative not to let the down define you or shake you out of your solid grounding and the foundation that you created for yourself. There is now more significant evidence and proof that you are capable and your endeavours are worthwhile.

Remember that. You are worthwhile and what you have done is something to celebrate and you have the power to continue on to the next adventure. Accept your brilliance, stand back and admire it from another angle. If you should ever forget or find the tug of negative habit, make a list of things that bring you up. Put up a visible reminder of things that you’ve accomplished and all your wonderful traits.

If you have photos, put those up. Anything to shine your capabilities to the stars and remind you of your power, your strength. It is in you and you have done it. Celebrate that, well done!

Get your game on and go play. Here’s your anthem for this weekend and the coming week.

Have a glorious weekend folks!

Love and Guts,
Doc Goreblot

Gore Goals

Into Sagittarian season we go!  I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed the energy shift and lift this week.  Feels like the centaurian archer has got my back as I aim with bow and arrow to realistic priorities and seeing more clearly the steps I need to take to achieve certain goals. Goals.  Goals seem to be the hashtag trend these days, lit by a smirk tipping towards the sentiment.  Examples include; relationship goals, squad goals, hair goals, life goals etc. and it seems it has this undertone of absurd sarcasm with a hint of keenness to obtain this aspired thing, but with no real inclination to sit down and make it happen and actually do the work for it.  Or it could be just another way of saying, “maybe if I win the lottery,” the phrase sprays out, and hangs in the air like a fine mist and then dispels, leaving, without a glimpse of real hope or optimism or real purpose.

A gentle coveting never hurt anyone, but be mindful it doesn’t turn on you and curdle and collect fluffy mold envy.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the comparative state where we pick at what we don’t have and what others have.  Structure your motivations around your own sincere desires, otherwise be lost battering yourself up for not being as seemingly glamorous as the #goal person that has you starry eyed and unhealthily yearning.

Goals don’t need to be serious, mind you, however if you actually do want to set goals and possibly really meet them, the best way is to start hashing (instead of hashtagging) out what you really really want, what you can see yourself committing to and honing in on the steps to get there.  A phrase that occurred to me, to remind me and help recalibrate my focus is very simple and you can ask yourself this if you find you’re getting flustered with the details, choices and decisions is; “what is the next step?”.  Meeting goals can be sincerely rewarding once you have obtained them with dedicated time and commitment.  Focusing on priorities and becoming aware of your own behavioural patterns will be part of this process and it will take hard work and quite a bit of experimentation and investigation till you can find your flow.

To fire up motivation if you find yourself losing sight of attainment, or you’re getting restless not getting there fast enough or things aren’t going quite as you hoped, take the time to remind yourself of the deep true-to-you longing that pulled on your desires in the first place to start.  Staying motivated can be real sneaky and tricky sometimes, all of a sudden a wrench gets thrown into your flow or something else new and distracting catches your attention and before you know it you’ve blinked yourself off course.  Pay no mind to hiccups! and being hard on yourself doesn’t really do anything either.  Return with wonder and laugh at your silly wander, perhaps the sidetrack journey had you bring back a snack as you dive back into your goal focus.  Just remember the deep longing, the feeling you want to feel when you approach that goal.  Of course, it’s not going to turn out exactly how you pictured, or maybe it will, but you will feel so satisfied with the work you’ve put in.  So try it, the Sagittarius energy is a great time to pick up speed.  Take that bow and arrow in hand and look to were you want to shoot, are you going to aim for the stars?  And if you find yourself twitching to hashtag this endeavour, here’s one for you, #goalgoals.

There is always so much more to say on the goal topic.  But, let’s see what’s cooking with your guts and perhaps you will find the spice needed to fire your engine there.

Now, onto the Goreblot fortunes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

spice variety

Here we have spice variety.  Think of your question, choose from the selection of 1. Cardamom, 2. Dried Mushrooms and 3. Dried Peppers and scroll down to find your corresponding message.

If you chose 1. Cardamom…

cardamom

  1. Cardamom.  Communication has lately been weird, yes? You are finding you are not on the same page or level as others.  You find you are vying to get your own attention and yet you are divided as you explain yourself to others or a partner.  Some communication gets dropped for no apparent reason, ghosted, abandoned with abandon.

What you think you need to come across may not necessarily need be communicated.  It just comes at this unspoken expectation or assumption that we openly share so many things with the world.  Social media is serving us a cadence, a rhythm of sharing and incorporating notes and beats before we even learn the entire song.

But you’re noticing the song isn’t quite whole.  It feels incomplete, lost.  That moment of stepping back and realizing, what are you engaging in?  Where is all this energy you are putting in going to? What would happen if you disengaged or decided to be quiet about something? or you made your own song away from the computer and phone?  Try taking a step back.  Assess where your energy and attention is going in this monitor-ful world, it’s easy to forget to check back and monitor ourselves.

Take some time to find your own rhythm again.  Find your song. Bottle your own essence and perhaps try keeping it to yourself.  If you release everything, what precious little do you have left to yourself? and then no wonder you find yourself lost and stumbling around not able to communicate properly.  Remember your voice.  Touch your song before you release it into a cave of confusing echoes of other voices.  You don’t need to battle others, just take the time now to regenerate your own voice so you can be heard more clearly.  Not only to others, but yourself as well.

If you chose 2. Dried Mushrooms…

driedmushrooms

2. Dried Mushrooms.  Hyper sick.  Perhaps a new term to be used, though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.  It’s the idea of allowing all disease to filter into your system.  There’s the unexpected sick that comes through your immune system from viruses, then the sick that is triggered somehow through your genes, then there’s the sick you carry in your body from external issues that you are not dealing with.  Putting yourself at dis-ease.  A clinging onto of illness because no cure is in sight or it’s so familiar, no other state seems right.

Hyper-sick, where all the systems feel attacked – your mind, body and spirit.  This is helplessness.  This is like all systems failed and where’s the reboot button? But fear not! There are many medicines to heal you, you just have to be willing to try them out.  Also, if you are not sick already, this is definitely a time to take caution and protect yourself.  Take some immune boosting herbals like oil of oregano or drink some echinacea tea.  Vegetables and a broth will be your friend.  Prevention and damage control are key.

When our bodies get attacked, it sucks.  Be investigative of the cause.  If it’s a mental sick, a spiralling mood, what foods did you eat, what situations or behavioural patterns did you sink into? If it’s spirit sick, what issues are you not dealing with or are you in denial of? If it’s body sick, how far did you push yourself or who were you around that might have passed it to you?  Sometimes finding the cause will help you.

A simple key to help, as wellness is an ongoing process, a continuous tinkering – just remember that alignment is what unlocks your strength.  Align yourself, physically, mentally, and spiritually – it’s work, but you will start unlocking where those sick knots lie.

If you chose 3. Dried Peppers…

driedpeppers

3. Dried Peppers.  Sometimes, you feel you need to get away.  You crave adventure or some different scenery.  There’s that urge to explore unchartered territory.  A buzz to spice things up, so to speak.  Hot dog!  Reel back that line you cast in the clouds and start figuring it out.  What can you afford? What steps can you implement to get to that dream vacation?

Don’t shoot it down and assume it’s never going to happen.  It won’t happen if you don’t allow yourself to line up with it.  Sometimes, the smallest step towards something can make the motion happen and you can move forward.  It can be as simple as writing it down on a piece of paper.  Sometimes placing a dream on a piece of paper can make it at least a bit more real than having it float around in your head.  And that piece of paper does not have a bunch of other ideas attacking it and shooting it down saying it will never happen.  By writing it down, you are claiming it’s presence and giving it vocation.

Yes, your dreams can become reality, yes you can get that trip.  Write it down, write down where you want to go and while you’re at it, you can even start brainstorming steps in getting there.  Do you need to set aside some money? do you need time off work? what can you do to make this more real?

Everything is intention and energy.  If you truly want and long for something, you will find yourself working towards it.  If you find you are being held back, then look at why that is.  What is your major road block and how much of a block is it really.

Here’s an assignment for you, find out what the meaning of life is.  Scratch that, find out what the meaning of your life is – you create it, it’s your vision.  What do you want and what do you see? This is an excellent time to make it happen.

Hope this helps! Have a fantastic weekend.

Love and Guts,
Doc G.

Shoot For the Thrill

It’s time again to consider current running themes in our lives and poke at the places where we deem need for improvement.  I don’t know about you, but this is my constant.  I’m constantly haunted by ruminations on top of my sensitivity on top of focus struggles because of those things.  It’s a feedback loop.  However,  everything is energy and the more we feed that energy, the more it thrives.  So starving that bird feeder so those anxious birds stop flitting about and returning for more of that dire feed, is a must.  How do we starve that energy we don’t want? by feeding the good energy, reinforcing, focusing on accomplishments and what is going good in your life.

Easier said than done, am I right?

One thing that helps me when I catch myself spiralling down is getting active.  Going for a walk, a run, and something I have been poking at myself to really get back into again is lifting weights.  The body really likes to move and as soon as you do so, it rewards you with the release of endorphins which not only staves pains away, but also makes you feel good, like if you were on morphine.  Endorphins are a natural drug that you can produce yourself!

If there is something psychological that makes you not like exercise, or you’ve just never liked exercise, there are always sneaky ways around it.  You still need to get places, so walking is a sure fire way to get those steps in.  And if there is any other activities that you like that get you moving, dancing for instance, then you’re ahead of your own game.  Unfortunately, there’s no magic pill for the sedentary and honestly you’ll feel worse and your body will get worse if you don’t take the initiative to move.  If you need motivation, find a good friend to buddy up with so you can encourage each other and hold each other accountable.  If you like group activities, group fitness classes are a great way to stay motivated and you will feel good because you will feel part of a community.  All hits on the beneficial!

I may blog about exercise constantly because I endorse it, I believe in it, and it isn’t just some thing that ‘fit’ people do.  Exercise is for everybody, whether you like it or not.

Alright, now that I got that out of the way, onward to the Goreblot fortunes for this week!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week we are tapping into the energy of the Tarot suits.  As usual, think of your question or issue and choose a number or suit and then scroll down for your guidance.  If you can’t quite settle on one, you can choose more than one.

tarot suits

Your choices: 1. Swords, 2. Coins, 3. Chalices and 4. Wands

If you chose 1. Swords…

swords

  1. Swords.  Be thrilled to find what’s underneath the surface once you’ve cut into it.  Hesitance keeps us all holding ourselves back, you’re not the only one affected by your mind’s own self-afflictions.  Patience with the blade that is you, patience in maintaining the sharpness, patience in getting the dullness out.  A cloth to help you shine, a stone to help you sharpen.

The philosopher’s stone is bleeding around the edges and has you crying for an answer where the answer is not so ready wielded.  A partial answer may come around like a bread crumb with more questions attached to it.  This is the moment where you need to take control and decide.  Decide and take action.  Grab onto the tangible.  What have you already manifested? How can you improve your game and what you already have?  And if there’s something you’re really striving for, hone in on those blockages, corner them, and wittingly look at steps of attack that you can see are are clear, to overcome them.  Even the simple act of writing down and identifying your blocks can help you identify them and work out the steps around them.  No more mind loops that you have let yourself engage in.  No more wandering and wondering endlessly.  You will find your answers once you start engaging and focusing and taking true action.  Disengage the romanticizing and fantacizing tacts that take you away from the solid and tangible.  The time for cutting into the meat of your ideas and inspirations is now.

We’ll cut the thick and break the thin….

If you chose 2. Coins….

coins

2. Coins.  Mapping out plans through brown and violet.  You may have had in your life some decisions that were made seemingly for you from unexpected events such as unplanned pregnancy, being born into a family that was abusive physically or emotionally, or sudden loss (death).  Sometimes we just can’t control what has been handed to us in our life’s circumstances and some things are out of our control to decide.  We feel powerless to the circumstances of chance.  However, what you make of it is totally in your power.  It may not come easy, but perhaps you need to ease up on the focus of everything being so hard.  What are you fighting against now? What has you bashing your head against the wall?

You have come far and you have made significant impact, whether you see it or not.  You have dug your way out of so much dirt and bullshit that has been tossed your way.  Do not let the past bury you again.  There are green pastures up above you, you just need to excavate yourself out a tiny bit more.  Unbury the hidden treasures that await within you and your surroundings.  The sun is already kissing the top of your head.  Work towards that warm orb because it is real, you can feel it and you have the strength to pull out of that softly suffocating self-burial.  You will realize as soon as you start pulling yourself up, the grips of that dirt will loosen, and you will feel a satisfying release of your roots from that nutrient-deprived earth.  Then if you wish, you can find a new place to plant yourself. Call it a positive re-soiling 😉

Reckoning is the only reason why we suffer at all….

If you chose 3. Chalices…

chalices

3. Chalices.  Driven by fame and fortune, where our passions drive us every day.  What drives you, what is your ultimate thrill?  What feels right and what is unusual?  Where have your waters of emotions run dry and/or shallow? You may have found yourself caught up in so much drama lately but if you pull back, you realize you don’t need to be as involved as you think.  There is no shame in taking time off social media to reconnect with yourself.  Not everyone is so skilled at dividing their attention.  Attention takes a certain kind of focus that can involve emotions, why we often say what ‘grabs our attention’ usually has some involvement of emotions.  It is intense to then try to respond to so much divided, emotionally driven attentions going on at once.  Our systems can only handle so much.  As attention grabbing, emotionally invested stuff requires reaction as well and reaction can be depletion to our energy stores.

What mindless impulses or reactionary signals have taken you away, or divided your attention so much lately? What have you allowed yourself to give into?  You may react to the internet trolls, but don’t be surprised to find that you started becoming one yourself.  Some of that attention stealing negative energy can be contagious, and I don’t blame you.  We’re all emotional beings and we all get sucked into the vacuum of knee-jerk opinions and reactions.  However, now is the time to really connect with your voice again and form complete thoughts that are not driven by the immediacy of the internet.  Yes, it’s work, it’s work because it’s breaking away from something so habitual and streamlined as being the norm of what’s expected.  Here’s news for you, no one is making you do it.  You’re a free bird and it’s completely in your hands to step back and take a break if you need.  You could even make it a healthy habit that you expect from yourself.  Perhaps take yourself out on a date, maybe catch that ridiculous Trolls movie, they’re probably far more palpable than internet trolls (hint: I saw the movie last night and they are, forget knee-jerking, try tear jerking, or that might just be me).

Just because we check the guns at the door; doesn’t mean our brains will change from hand grenades…

If you chose 4. Wands…

wands

4. Wands.  Dreams are at your fingertips to manifest.  Obviously, they won’t come out exactly the way you dreamed them but that’s the beauty of enjoying the process.  Serenity comes in the simplest of actions of just allowing yourself to show up and let the movements take you there.  That place of being in the process can be a deep and wonderful place if you are able to allow yourself to relax and surrender to it.  There are no holdings on you right now, so you have the freedom to play.  No expectations are driving your hands, just a sense of gentle curiosity.  Like staring at clouds and seeing objects and faces, this is a time of permission.  Give yourself the permission to pamper yourself, relax in a bubble bath, get a massage, take a meditation or yoga class even, if you have been considering these things but never took the steps to do them.  Anything gentle for you physically right now will rejuvenate you.  I mean, this stuff will always have the power to rejuvenate, however if you have been putting it off, then do it already! It will be especially potent for you now.  Also, if you dance, I suggest you find a place to do that, there’s a strong call to let loose, surrender, and feel yourself beyond your mind and body.  I’m talking soul, baby! Tap into that.

A feeling good, good, creepin’ up on you…

~~~I hope this shines brightly on your day and days to come!

Love and guts,
Doc. G

Enter a new year

There are so many layers to self-reflection, just when you think you reflect enough, you then realize there’s another layer to peel back. There is something to how we form our thoughts. Even when we think that we think many thoughts, which we do, there are ways in which we are habitual and cyclical about those thoughts. You may self-reflect or get into deep thought, but what is deep? You surrender yourself to all the voices, all the callings of your attention, then you find you are ruminating, worrying and latching on to so many thoughts – like a thought hoarder pack rat. Thoughts can be very cyclical and formed by habit just like our physical actions. That’s why I feel it’s very important, just forming habits of making the bed, to clear that mental space every now and again. Not only will you feel lighter and more clear, you’ll feel less toxic and more at ease in your approach to any area in your life. Bad habit thoughts can be carried in the body in so many different ways. Notice where you are holding it in your body when you start digging at a thought or many thoughts. You may be even holding your breathe, grinding your teeth, clenching your shoulders or your stomach and this isn’t even exercise. In fact, this is a great reason for why we do exercise, so we can get more physically in tune with our bodies and also physically work out any stress that we’ve accumulated.

There’s a theme here and it’s accumulation.

If you find you’re suffocating in stuff, or your brain is buzzing with too many things and you’re feeling more often than not, paralyzed. This is a time to give yourself space and I invite you to consider a practice of meditation. I’m certain you can allow yourself to let go of all the things you are holding onto for 5-10 minutes a day. If you’re finding it too hard to sit still, then you can practice a meditation while doing a mundane task such as washing the dishes or cleaning the floors, the idea is to let go of what your mind is holding onto and allowing yourself to be absorbed in the task in front of you. It can be challenging, but also so rewarding when you realize how lovely it can be to give yourself a break and to really focus on nothing but the life that is in front of you, your breathe, the feeling of your body and all the energy the stirs inside of it.

You will notice so much when you give in and you will realize how much strain one or more thoughts can have on you.

So take time for yourself to be with yourself and notice the difference. Notice that with a regular practice like this, you’ll be able to approach tasks with more ease as you won’t be fretting so much about the outcomes.

On to the Goreblot fortunes….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I do hope you have had a glorious October and Halloween. Alas, with about 60 odd days left of this year, I hope they find you well and fruitful!

Here’s the drill, pick a healing hand with an issue or question in mind and then scroll down to find your corresponding message. I use my own divination technique called Goreblots, using paintomancy to call upon the messages. The images that appear is the result of the divination painting process.

healing hands

If you chose 1…
1hand

There’s a need to connect to some light. It feels distant and you want to get closer to it, but you don’t know quite how to do so. Guiding light can only reach you if you take that step forward into it. Let your hand illuminate your toe. Not only is there light on the outside, but as cheezy as this sounds, you have some light within. This is a time to look at your own fingertips and see what energy they can manifest. We tend to ignore our most handy and used body part that does all these things for us, all this work, we don’t even realize.

If you focus your energy to your fingertips, what do you imagine coming out of them?

Swirls of colour, starbursts, shooting stars, a sparkling rainbow, lazors, or maybe even magic snakes. Let the power of your imagination, your mind, wield your fingertips into a powerful tool where energy spills out of them and onto the objects that you touch or onto a task you are doing, perhaps even a dance. It’s no mere object or thing now that you’ve laced it with your magical tendrils. This is your connection to light, your inner illumination. A soft focus enmeshed with a simple intention creates your magical power. You keep this focus and visualization going and just see that everything you touch radiates just a little more.

Can you feel the light….

If you chose 2…
2hand

Reach out and touch, me. Your own Personal Jesus. Reaching out over and over, you talk with your hands more than your mouth. And not by gesticulations but by tapping on buttons or touch screens. It’s so automatic half the time you don’t know you’re doing it, you’re so enmeshed (word of the day) in the habit. Your hands are these automatons stringing you along this world of projections. Tap, tap, swipe, clich, what other motion do they know other than wiping your ass and making a cup of coffee?

Dead fingers, cold, lacking heat. When was the last time you traced something with your fingers? When’s the last time you scrunched your fingers into a fist or gripped onto something really tight? It may not have been that long ago. Yesterday even. But how meaningful was it to you and how meaningful to you are your screen interactions?

You are distracting yourself from a worry. The worry of creating something that already exists.

Your fingers are the plugs plugging you in and engrossing you in this world of infinity – so many things not to be missed.

Everything already does exist. You can keep discovering new versions of the same things in a different voice or quality. But my recommendation to you so you don’t get completely lost, is simplify. Look at your palms and really take a moment to look. Rub them together and create warmth, blow on them if you need to and then cover your eyes. Without overthinking (I know that’s really hard), what’s the first image you see? breathe in and then out deeply, identify what the image is. Now take your fingers onto your scalp and move it up and down, side to side, releasing any thoughts you are holding onto and go, go towards that image that was set in your mind. Your hands want more for you. Whenever you need to reconnect, do this, reach out and touch yourself and remember that you are here.

Salvation lies just a touch away…

If you chose 3…
3hand

Prophecy. Rise. Shed. Bone Marrow. You are tinkering and touching and feeling. Playing with the threads of some new ball of string or strumming a chord on a new instrument, you are finding that this is speaking to a different part of your soul. Perhaps, unlike what you’ve felt, or perhaps you have and its been a long time since. Hand and shadow puppets, now is the time to play and dance, stretch and reach, your hands are your navigators, your scouts, they reach something before the rest of your body catches up. Your hands take so much impact, sometimes holding up your own entire body weight, maybe even someone else’s. Your hands are your base. Are you finding that sitting and doing one action makes you squirm? Perhaps your mind wanders too much, your body follows, and you step in pace with an energy that is not your own and is not intentional but distracted. This is a time to return back to your base and play with mudras (intentional hand gestures) and/or meditation so you can realign yourself back to where you can feel that soul drive, that aura, that ease in your direction. Expression is in your base, it is in your hands that hold you and carry what surrounds you.

Just give me a second baby, to clear my head…

I hope this helps shed some expression and light into your days to come.

Love and guts,
Doc Goreblot

Ebb and flow Goreblot

Time has escaped me again. The energy has shifted quite a bit since the last post. And again there is what I perceive as an overdue Goreblot. My aim has been to do these Goreblot posts weekly. I had a good habit of it for quite a while and then around spring is where it dwindled as I introduced a different platform and I think where perceived expectations and responsibility came to a forefront. What starts out as a stab in the dark to try a different practice, then realizing it takes off, then realizing the taking off frightens you – well, it happens to us all doesn’t it?

I’m a creature with a flighty head and left with unstructured time, I allow my impulses to take over and I allow myself to get distracted which makes it merely impossible to keep to a task and stay focused. It’s like the more I try to focus, the more another part of me steers and steers even more away from that.

I get caught up in expectations of myself and then of what I think I want to deliver to others as well. Caught in the trap of wanting to be meticulous and lay out a platter of excellence. My hope is to always aim for that, a platter of excellence, but also to keep coming back to a sense of grounding. I suppose I talk about flightyness a lot, but I believe it’s the nature of the world we live in now, where our heads are stuck to screens on an hourly daily basis.

To connect with some roots and return to some ground, I’m going to explore some creative writing again. Here’s another share in my process work, this is a story of transformation:

The tortured muse. Always bedraggled at people pleasing and egging and encouraging other people’s inspirations. She neglected her own. Somehow she spread herself thin, trying to find herself in all the corners then realizing there was all this rough terrain, had to then retract.
“I want to be inside,” she said, “I want to find my tribe.”
She wishes hard. She wished hard for a place that could ignite her, a place of encouragement and inspiration. She wished really hard to be a part of something inclusive. She wished hard to be lost and happy in her art and all it’s glory without the presence of shame and guilt and anxiety.
No one should feel shame for something so beautiful and pure, open and relentless, especially vulnerable, she thought.
She took herself and wandered and had thoughts, first with aim and then aimlessly.
Stories are aching to be told, a personal history aching to be written. It’s written in the folds of her desire to be and become an artist. An inspirer. A leader. The desire is there but there’s odd setbacks, like the how. How do I do this? she asks. You just do, was the reply. But, that didn’t suffice for her perfectionist brain. No, she thought, it can’t be just that. You can’t just do, there’s a whole process to doing. There are measures and steps. Yes! her inner voice exclaimed. Exactly. Figure out the first step and do it. Oh. She thought. How come my brain makes it so hard for me?
Inspiration and reminders of projects she wants to do start rushing into her brain, overwhelming her.
“I remember!” she says outloud, “I want to do all these things! But where do I start? How do I prioritize?”
Move towards what calls you first, love. Be gentle. Allow yourself to start. Allow yourself to enjoy the small steps, the imperfect bumbling process. Nothing has gotten so completely crusty as you may think. Just the edges of your mind. Cater to your needs, to your whims, and embody the making and the doing. Release the thoughts.
She did and then she became, just what she imagined she wanted to be.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now forth and onto some much overdue and possibly needed(?) Goreblot fortunes!!

This time, it’s caterpillars, with an issue or question in mind choose your caterpillar and then scroll down for you corresponding Goreblot message.

Caterpillars
Caterpillars

If you chose Caterpillar 1…
caterpillar1

Paint me a picture of your world. What materials are you using? What sort of paint? What is the texture? What is your brush or tool of choice?
Now paint me a tragedy. What would it look like?
Now paint me joy. What would joy look like?
You have an eye for things, what does it focus on? All these prompts are meant just as a guidance to guide you along your path of personal vision. If you choose to go on this vision journey and notice you are struggling, then notice what you are struggling with. We all fight our inner visions sometimes without really realizing what we are fighting or perhaps even why we are fighting in the first place. Relax your grappling grip for a moment and seize. Take a gentle moment now to capture it in another frame, another way, such as paint, draw or write it out. Turn it around and upside down. Capture what you are first perceived to be tragedy, frame it in a way so that the essence of it becomes beautiful to you, perhaps poetic. Time will tell you how tender you can be, how willing. If you soften your grip, everything else will soften with it. Your gaze, your clenched jaw, your skin.

Here’s a little song for you.

If you chose Caterpillar 2…
caterpillar2

What is your desire? What feels like velvet to you? That place of supported comfort, muffled surroundings, the thing that quiets the bustling noise. You desire to muffle that noise, I know. To just have a centred quiet for a little bit. Find that place for you. It could be the library, a park, someplace secretive and secluded. I’m not going to tell you what you need, but this is my guess because everyone needs it from time to time.
Allowance. We don’t allow ourselves enough quiet. We punish ourselves with noise. Going and going like we deserve this or we have to do that. Just shut up. Shut it up. Wrap your ears in velvet and cut off the racket. It’ll muffle. It won’t suffocate, but it will be muted. An allowance of a mutation. Mutate. Become deflective, immune against these forces. You have the ability.

Hole yourself up and give this a whirl.

If you chose Caterpillar 3…
caterpillar3

Thick sediment. Webbing of sea slime. Forms that loosely bind creating patterns all over. You are deep. Deep into heavy waters, your cells are squishing under pressure. Tight, bubbling pressure. Where is the release valve? you need it. Escapism for you does not have to be a negative thing. You may just need a brief escape or perhaps a journey somewhere to remind you of what it’s like to have ease and breeze. An exciting swamp, a bog, or a pond. Connection with water and the creatures that harbour there, remembering, realizing there’s a whole eco system out there beyond your wildest imagination. If you breathe in water, you drown, but some living forms thrive in it. Liquid life. The very blood of the earth. You need to connect with something bigger than yourself. A reminder of how little you are but how much one body can do, disperse, disintegrate, and emulsify. How you mix in, is up to you. Just remember, the sediment, what may appear like waste, is where the gold is – a whole world beyond what anyone can imagine. So start imagining.

Experience…

I hope these messages find you well and tip top. If you connected with anything here, I’d love to hear from you! Also if you have any questions etc. I’m here.

Until next time!

Love and Guts,
Doc. Goreblot

Autumnal Goreblot

Autumn has landed. The astrological shifts land us into Libra season and we ready ourselves for full-blown harvest. My favourite time of the year. Colours gradually change, leaves start to fall, I get obsessive and over-intellectualize every little detail of everything, but still manage to have energy and be inspired. I definitely need methods of grounding. Through Virgo season, it seemed like I needed to find my grounding through material goods, so I shopped a little ridiculously hardcore. And when one does not have a regular paying gig, that can be a bit disconcerting and the money fears kick in. Guilt chases the purchase high, and then shame for not just spending the money, but also wasting all the time looking and wandering. Gone unregulated, I can let myself go on these wandering tangents without thinking, but then thinking too much. I need a base, a steady schedule, something to adhere to. When I have something to go to, where people are expecting me, I feel purposed and I go because being accountable, there’s no question I have to show up. I have excellent work ethic, just not for my own ambitions and sometimes that can leave me running dried up. I’ll help and encourage and throw my money at people I want to support at the drop of a hat, but as soon as it comes to my stuff, I become apologetic, shy, excusable and I downplay my abilities.

I’ve been chasing my own tail for a long time, still trying to grab it so I can settle.

Fears are always going to be brought up in the creative process. Joining another creative group workshop online, I return to some of the same monsters. What’s nice is having the supportive atmosphere and reading other’s stories so no one has to feel alone. We can all relate to each other and encourage each other. Finding support and encouragement is key to a certain type of affirming growth. I believe we all need that type of fuel to ignite us, otherwise we can get easily lost.

So I’ll share with you this. Hoping that we can come together and feel a little less lost collectively.
Here’s my written wrestle in dealing with fears this week:

Demon possession. Some fear of the unknown, the uncontrollable unknown. What makes us feel safe and supposedly comfortable and out of harms way. Our fears are obsessions, a fixation on the negative or dark aspect of a thing.
An exaggeration.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure, of not being wanted, not being good enough as the assumptive quality of what another is thinking. It’s a weight, a burden. Out of control, but if we torture ourselves with it in our minds, perhaps through all these paths and tunnels, something will ease and sort itself out.
No. Our experiences shape our fears. Our reactions to those experiences shape those fears too. When I feel the shadow of that fear demon, it’s obvious and most blatant form, it’s force is like no other. It feels apart from me, yet possesses my body fully. It takes me to awareness heights, a hyperfocused surrealism that grips onto a shaky feeling, grips onto possible horrible outcome futures. Or replaying whatever awfulness that has past. Playing over again these actions and happenings as if they were statements and truths that has written me so I cannot unwrite myself or write myself. It wants to fully possess me until I’m out of steam to fight it. It wants to create me written in it’s form and no other possible form will suffice.
I’m afraid to face that darkness because I’m afraid of my own power. Afraid of the how I will overcome it, perhaps. Why am I? Am I afraid of what I can do? Afraid of soaring too high off the ground and not landing? Afraid that if I unleash it, I can’t control how it’ll effect others and how they’ll react to it? Afraid I’ll be held accountable through my own accord and I’ll have to clean up the mess that follows it? assuming there is a mess. Disarray and disorganization is my nemesis, it knows. That’s why it creates these barriers of mess between me and my work. How can I create when my room is a mess and dishes need to be done? excuses.
Ah ha.
It’s a power game. A power trip. Tripping over wires, riding a wave.
A collected, accumulated feeling of foreign matter that seemingly has taken over the body.
Fear, foreign matter, a concept that grips us and holds us back. A certain paralyzer that only we can figure out how to individually defrost from. It’s a process that is never done. And what should be taken from it is this, to never be ashamed of where you are coming from or where you are going to.
Settling with oneself, facing fears, is not so dark, it’s just…uncomfortable. Like breathing into a stretch, the tenseness eventually relaxes, the muscles become more flexible and elastic. It’s all a matter of showing up for yourself and doing the work. Fear has no hold once you give it a rub, a healthy massage and breathe into it. It’s a tenseness that has the ability to relax and eventually let go. That’s why we call it releasing our fears. Once we rub it down, it has no grip, it’s no longer tense and it no longer files away in our stomach pit. When you breathe, expansion happens. It’s a simple thing, but it translates real well to other aspects in your life, and it’s a hard but easily accessible thing to start with. Breathe into that fear and it will loosen. It’s. Grip.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On to the Autumnal Goreblots!

Here is the lay of the land of your choices. 1. Apple 2. Ginger 3. Pumpkin. Have a question or issue in mind to address while choosing your item and then scroll down for your corresponding message.

Autumn

If you chose 1. Apple…
apple

It’s never what you think, is it? But it’s not a trick, it’s not a game, the only competition is yourself and fighting to reach new heights with yourself. You now, are flourishing. You are reaching that crown and third eye chakra, that level of insight and awareness that so often seems too muddled and unattainable. It comes and goes in waves and shifts. And if this is not your language, or you don’t believe in this new agey stuff (well you may not be reading this then to begin with), consider where you are and what point of views you’ve had that has changed. What has shifted for you? what have you realized?

There is no limit to any knowledge you can uncover. The limits come in what we choose to believe in. Do you feel grounded where you stand? or would you like to believe something different? and what is stopping you? The possibilities are endless in how you can shape yourself and what you believe in and ultimately what will translate into your own reality. You can write yourself in your own story, as the character you want to be, or you can continue to be blocked, but the little nagging tendrils of thought and inspiration will unravel you to the point of wanting to take action. Because who wants to be in a story that doesn’t go anywhere? Standstill, stagnacity is not an option, things are in constant motion. So you can choose how things will write out, or you can stand around and things will write around you, but eventually motion, thought, weather, variables will happen and cause change and cause shifts inevitably.

What has changed your mind weather? what clouds have opened up for you? It’s a new knowledge to play with, a new story and new characters maybe even. How you are going to interact with this new path and these new characters, this new piece of information? Let the possibilities guide you instead of paralyze you.

It’s your time now to sparkle and shine ;):

If you chose 2. Ginger…
ginger

You’ve been gnashing your teeth away on so many things. Your gums are angry, your stomach nauseous. You haven’t been taking the time to chew and swallow before you’ve taken your next bite. Busy-ness seems to be this virtuous thing that we like to display and announce, as if by some sign this makes us better off. That if we can claim all this activity, it will rank us as some kind of human that is not useless. But uselessness is a kind of perception and assumption. Who are you trying to impress? What are you trying to out-chase?

There’s this fear gnawing away at you, that if you don’t have all these things lined up, you are going to fall apart and be useless. But consider your threads now. Are you really all that sewn together? Or are you coming undone?

My suggestion is to chew a little more slowly, spin in the opposite direction to counter act all the spinning you’ve been doing in one direction for so long and consider where you are falling apart at the seams. Your body is definitely and will definitely give you signs that it is not happy and by it’s own force, it’ll slow you down whether you agree to it or not. Changing up your speed might help you to see things and feel things differently too. You’re fire needs a little cooling, so take care, chew and digest and perhaps have something cool and/or gingery to sooth that nausea that’s been following you around.

Hello, I’m here:

If you chose 3. Pumpkin…
pumpkin

Oh the internal struggles. Your brain is twisted up like knots in your stomach. The options and possibilities, the seeds and the stringy guts. All these wrinkles are happening and there’s a need to smooth out that furrowed forehead of yours.

Psychic-ing the opinions of others, hearing their voices in your head of how they are going to react before you even do the action. So much stressing involved, so many options weighed. You can intellectualize something to death and still nothing is happening until you actually do the thing.

You need to dive in, clean the guts and carve your design and stop overanalyzing how the final product is going to come out. It will be very satisfying once you’ve let yourself go and put yourself in the process, just of cleaning the stringy guts alone. You’ll find uses for what was perceived as garbage as soon as you get to work, like those seeds can be roasted and turned into a fuel to feed you as you carve away your design.

Let yourself go and give yourself permission to just start. Before you know it, you will be lighting that candle to illuminate the design you worked so hard on and it could be something beyond what you imagined, and it really will be. Trust, and let go. There is true magic and beauty in release.

Whoa now:

I hope these Autumnal feels will help you along your way. Feel free to reach out. The Doc is here for you.

Love and guts,
Doc Goreblot

Go-go Aerial Goreblot

Life is like a continuous adventure of fleshing out perspectives, self, and belief systems. One moment you’re so sure of your path and have your sights on something, another you’re lost in all the distracting details of decision making and prioritization. Your views get snagged on the cloth of another’s belief systems only to be ripped away again, and you find yourself mending that tear so it won’t completely scrape your ego. Through the process of that mending, you find your ego waning as a hidden love for the process emerges. The steps of enlightenment, humbled by thoughts gathered and released, letting go and dissipating. Knowing that you don’t have to hold on so tightly, it’s not going anywhere, it may just change. And it will change, and you will change if you let yourself. You really can change if you want to.

Many times we’ll come across challenges of other people’s perceptions and we’ll have to navigate accordingly. Our internal worlds sometimes evolving faster than the outer and it may seem like that outer world is moving at a snail’s pace. It’s remembering the power of thought and energy and keeping those in check that could be your saving grace. You are your thoughts and what you release is what is exchanged, a vibration of a certain frequency that either draws someone near or pushes them away. Similarly to what you digest through your body, something of a low nutritional vibration is going to deplete your energy source and what you consume may drive YOU away from your own mind and body – fog, brain fuzz, negative emotions, confusion, illness, dis-ease. Being aware of what you consume spiritually, mentally, and physically takes practice and commitment. It is work, but often we misconceive this work as a gift that someone else may have and not us, we may believe that it’s only the privileged that have access, the privilege of time and money, the privilege of strength or genetic make-up. But it’s that very perception that gets us into trouble, as we get wrought with comparing ourselves to others when we haven’t got a single clue where that person comes from and what their experiences have been and what they have to deal with. We are so assumptive. We cling onto the coat tails of so many beliefs that drag us along mercilessly, as victims of our own egos. If I believe this, this is what it means for me, therefore I am this type of person and not that, because to be that type of person would be lunacy. To consider that information, when so many other things have been mythically debunked, I’d be silly, I’d be a fool. And no one wants to be a fool.

What information do you instantly shoot down? and why? What facts do you think you actually know and what’s made you believe them? Have you experienced something first hand? have you seen it broken down molecularly, tested it out in experiments of your own? or was it something you heard from a source? is it a trusted source?

Investigative curiosity is a type of empowerment. Try wielding your own answers and results. Why just take some other source’s word for it? Let’s see what your guts have to say.

A little while ago, I asked you to choose your animal of flight…
flightoffancy

So let’s see what their messages are!

If you chose 1. Opalite Owl…
opaliteowl

It is time to raise your vibration. What does that mean exactly? According to the opalite owl, it’s shedding previous knowledge that has been sticking on you for quite awhile. It is time to evolve to something higher. This may mean a higher education, not necessarily in schooling, but the type of education that has you reaching and struggling at the tip of your brain, increasing connections of awareness, creating new links, new avenues, new streams.

This is also a time to nurture yourself and let yourself be drawn to nurturing things. Cultivate a collection of therapies that work with your senses. If you’ve been drawn to sounds lately, music, you’re feeding your auditory sense – what sounds lift you up? What sorts of instrumentals have you dancing on the wires of your internal mind?
Consider your other senses. Have you paid attention to what you’ve been smelling lately? Do you stop to smell flowers? cook to create nostalgic flavours in the kitchen? sip in the aroma of the coffee bean in the mornings to stimulate and awaken your soul? or the lovely fragrance of a selection of floral herbal tea?

Your well aware of touch at the moment, your hands are feeling the grit and grime. The daily grasping of physical things. A wet shower, the sticky sweat, a dry clean sock. And your eyes see an overwhelming amount of pictures and views on the daily, almost too much to process, your brain scrambling to file away what’s important, what can be glimpsed at and what you need to come back to.

But let’s get back to smell. It enters you in a visceral way, it toys out your memories, it also creates new ones. Play with this, play with nurturing ways to use scent to empower and enrich your soul – try a bubble bath with an essential oil, buy yourself some flowers or better yet, get outside somewhere with surrounding trees, and breathe.

Have a listen:

If you chose 2. Bat…
resinbat

The night sonic, throwing a pitch. Wichita? A night time channel, where blindness is in the day. Trust, let go. All these posts and memes you read everyday, telling you to be mindful, and aware etc. etc. all that buzzword bullshit. It has merit to a degree, but the medium in which it’s delivered is washed down by a backlit screen with some randomly picked googled image with some serenity script font feeding you supposed words of wisdom passed down from a quote of a philosopher, extracted and out of context of some dead white guy’s life. Some dead person you heard of and were taught that they were notably and historically smart and have added to our human history in some kind of way.

Then that meme gets washed over by someone’s status, a humble-brag of their day and how awesome it was, you click “like” and move on. A post of an article on the benefits of some vitamin and how you should be getting more sleep as you read it passively staying up late on your laptop in bed, chewing on the inside of your mouth.

You are sucking on lifeless posts, you catch a glimmer of some knowledge and know and pass on the meme and pass on the information, but you move by it so fast, how much time did you actually let yourself digest this information before moving onto the next? And did this source actually give you some nourishment?

The bat carries itself around easily in the dark, navigating with echo-location. You need to get out and flutter about, use your voice and hear it echo, hear what vibrations come back to you, feel where the sound is, feel and hear where your night nutrition lies. You need to be the voice of your own stirrings for a while. The bat suggests you go schmooze, come out of your cave and try going to some kind of show enriched with the culture of your interests, or try something new. Meet-ups, classes, trying something new so your old doesn’t crust up in a batty cave.

To help combat the overstimulated battiness, have a listen:

If you chose 3. Winged Panther….
wingedpanther

Prrrraow! The cat with wings with a sizzling purr, and a gargling growl. A surface animal with flight tendencies, as when things get tough on the ground, it’s made easy to fly away and go to higher surfaces. You may be on the defence lately. Defending your stance, licking your wounded ego. You’re embarrassed you don’t always land gracefully. But tell me, how many other flying cats are around like you?

Slinking from a certain kind of confrontation, being coy, expressing an old pattern. Teasing the silky strands from that ball of silky yarn, toying with it, seeing what will happen if you pummel it and then shooting off when it becomes a bit of a mess.

Everybody has a certain genetic disposition. If you spit in a cup and send it off you can get alls sorts of graphs and percentages telling you what you are likely to be prone to or what type of disease you could be vulnerable to. These statistical facts don’t mean you have the disease, just that you could be vulnerable to it. Once you express an aspect of yourself, you can tease that part of your genes out and activate it. Say, you have a genetic disposition to alcoholism, yet you never touch alcohol. Does that mean you’re an alcoholic? Say you have the genes that say you are most likely to be a smoker, but you never touched a cigarette, does that mean you’re a smoker?

What genes are you aware of in your family that have been teased out because of environment? How did a cat like you sprout wings in the first place? and is it really that hard to land after you’ve taken flight from the ground? You may have wings, you may be stumbling around, but know that even if it’s not graceful, you can still land and have your feet back on the ground. What you express and tease out can be seen, and you have the power to tidy it, you are not a victim to your disposition. With the power of your thoughts, you can land gracefully, take a moment to relish it and curl up in a cozy ball on the hilltops.

Hey hey hey, who am I to pass judgement that way:

And with that, my flighty creatures, I hope you land well wherever you are in your life. Whenever you need, the Doc is here for you.

Love and Guts,
Doc Goreblot