Autumnal Goreblot

Autumn has landed. The astrological shifts land us into Libra season and we ready ourselves for full-blown harvest. My favourite time of the year. Colours gradually change, leaves start to fall, I get obsessive and over-intellectualize every little detail of everything, but still manage to have energy and be inspired. I definitely need methods of grounding. Through Virgo season, it seemed like I needed to find my grounding through material goods, so I shopped a little ridiculously hardcore. And when one does not have a regular paying gig, that can be a bit disconcerting and the money fears kick in. Guilt chases the purchase high, and then shame for not just spending the money, but also wasting all the time looking and wandering. Gone unregulated, I can let myself go on these wandering tangents without thinking, but then thinking too much. I need a base, a steady schedule, something to adhere to. When I have something to go to, where people are expecting me, I feel purposed and I go because being accountable, there’s no question I have to show up. I have excellent work ethic, just not for my own ambitions and sometimes that can leave me running dried up. I’ll help and encourage and throw my money at people I want to support at the drop of a hat, but as soon as it comes to my stuff, I become apologetic, shy, excusable and I downplay my abilities.

I’ve been chasing my own tail for a long time, still trying to grab it so I can settle.

Fears are always going to be brought up in the creative process. Joining another creative group workshop online, I return to some of the same monsters. What’s nice is having the supportive atmosphere and reading other’s stories so no one has to feel alone. We can all relate to each other and encourage each other. Finding support and encouragement is key to a certain type of affirming growth. I believe we all need that type of fuel to ignite us, otherwise we can get easily lost.

So I’ll share with you this. Hoping that we can come together and feel a little less lost collectively.
Here’s my written wrestle in dealing with fears this week:

Demon possession. Some fear of the unknown, the uncontrollable unknown. What makes us feel safe and supposedly comfortable and out of harms way. Our fears are obsessions, a fixation on the negative or dark aspect of a thing.
An exaggeration.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure, of not being wanted, not being good enough as the assumptive quality of what another is thinking. It’s a weight, a burden. Out of control, but if we torture ourselves with it in our minds, perhaps through all these paths and tunnels, something will ease and sort itself out.
No. Our experiences shape our fears. Our reactions to those experiences shape those fears too. When I feel the shadow of that fear demon, it’s obvious and most blatant form, it’s force is like no other. It feels apart from me, yet possesses my body fully. It takes me to awareness heights, a hyperfocused surrealism that grips onto a shaky feeling, grips onto possible horrible outcome futures. Or replaying whatever awfulness that has past. Playing over again these actions and happenings as if they were statements and truths that has written me so I cannot unwrite myself or write myself. It wants to fully possess me until I’m out of steam to fight it. It wants to create me written in it’s form and no other possible form will suffice.
I’m afraid to face that darkness because I’m afraid of my own power. Afraid of the how I will overcome it, perhaps. Why am I? Am I afraid of what I can do? Afraid of soaring too high off the ground and not landing? Afraid that if I unleash it, I can’t control how it’ll effect others and how they’ll react to it? Afraid I’ll be held accountable through my own accord and I’ll have to clean up the mess that follows it? assuming there is a mess. Disarray and disorganization is my nemesis, it knows. That’s why it creates these barriers of mess between me and my work. How can I create when my room is a mess and dishes need to be done? excuses.
Ah ha.
It’s a power game. A power trip. Tripping over wires, riding a wave.
A collected, accumulated feeling of foreign matter that seemingly has taken over the body.
Fear, foreign matter, a concept that grips us and holds us back. A certain paralyzer that only we can figure out how to individually defrost from. It’s a process that is never done. And what should be taken from it is this, to never be ashamed of where you are coming from or where you are going to.
Settling with oneself, facing fears, is not so dark, it’s just…uncomfortable. Like breathing into a stretch, the tenseness eventually relaxes, the muscles become more flexible and elastic. It’s all a matter of showing up for yourself and doing the work. Fear has no hold once you give it a rub, a healthy massage and breathe into it. It’s a tenseness that has the ability to relax and eventually let go. That’s why we call it releasing our fears. Once we rub it down, it has no grip, it’s no longer tense and it no longer files away in our stomach pit. When you breathe, expansion happens. It’s a simple thing, but it translates real well to other aspects in your life, and it’s a hard but easily accessible thing to start with. Breathe into that fear and it will loosen. It’s. Grip.


On to the Autumnal Goreblots!

Here is the lay of the land of your choices. 1. Apple 2. Ginger 3. Pumpkin. Have a question or issue in mind to address while choosing your item and then scroll down for your corresponding message.


If you chose 1. Apple…

It’s never what you think, is it? But it’s not a trick, it’s not a game, the only competition is yourself and fighting to reach new heights with yourself. You now, are flourishing. You are reaching that crown and third eye chakra, that level of insight and awareness that so often seems too muddled and unattainable. It comes and goes in waves and shifts. And if this is not your language, or you don’t believe in this new agey stuff (well you may not be reading this then to begin with), consider where you are and what point of views you’ve had that has changed. What has shifted for you? what have you realized?

There is no limit to any knowledge you can uncover. The limits come in what we choose to believe in. Do you feel grounded where you stand? or would you like to believe something different? and what is stopping you? The possibilities are endless in how you can shape yourself and what you believe in and ultimately what will translate into your own reality. You can write yourself in your own story, as the character you want to be, or you can continue to be blocked, but the little nagging tendrils of thought and inspiration will unravel you to the point of wanting to take action. Because who wants to be in a story that doesn’t go anywhere? Standstill, stagnacity is not an option, things are in constant motion. So you can choose how things will write out, or you can stand around and things will write around you, but eventually motion, thought, weather, variables will happen and cause change and cause shifts inevitably.

What has changed your mind weather? what clouds have opened up for you? It’s a new knowledge to play with, a new story and new characters maybe even. How you are going to interact with this new path and these new characters, this new piece of information? Let the possibilities guide you instead of paralyze you.

It’s your time now to sparkle and shine ;):

If you chose 2. Ginger…

You’ve been gnashing your teeth away on so many things. Your gums are angry, your stomach nauseous. You haven’t been taking the time to chew and swallow before you’ve taken your next bite. Busy-ness seems to be this virtuous thing that we like to display and announce, as if by some sign this makes us better off. That if we can claim all this activity, it will rank us as some kind of human that is not useless. But uselessness is a kind of perception and assumption. Who are you trying to impress? What are you trying to out-chase?

There’s this fear gnawing away at you, that if you don’t have all these things lined up, you are going to fall apart and be useless. But consider your threads now. Are you really all that sewn together? Or are you coming undone?

My suggestion is to chew a little more slowly, spin in the opposite direction to counter act all the spinning you’ve been doing in one direction for so long and consider where you are falling apart at the seams. Your body is definitely and will definitely give you signs that it is not happy and by it’s own force, it’ll slow you down whether you agree to it or not. Changing up your speed might help you to see things and feel things differently too. You’re fire needs a little cooling, so take care, chew and digest and perhaps have something cool and/or gingery to sooth that nausea that’s been following you around.

Hello, I’m here:

If you chose 3. Pumpkin…

Oh the internal struggles. Your brain is twisted up like knots in your stomach. The options and possibilities, the seeds and the stringy guts. All these wrinkles are happening and there’s a need to smooth out that furrowed forehead of yours.

Psychic-ing the opinions of others, hearing their voices in your head of how they are going to react before you even do the action. So much stressing involved, so many options weighed. You can intellectualize something to death and still nothing is happening until you actually do the thing.

You need to dive in, clean the guts and carve your design and stop overanalyzing how the final product is going to come out. It will be very satisfying once you’ve let yourself go and put yourself in the process, just of cleaning the stringy guts alone. You’ll find uses for what was perceived as garbage as soon as you get to work, like those seeds can be roasted and turned into a fuel to feed you as you carve away your design.

Let yourself go and give yourself permission to just start. Before you know it, you will be lighting that candle to illuminate the design you worked so hard on and it could be something beyond what you imagined, and it really will be. Trust, and let go. There is true magic and beauty in release.

Whoa now:

I hope these Autumnal feels will help you along your way. Feel free to reach out. The Doc is here for you.

Love and guts,
Doc Goreblot

Go-go Aerial Goreblot

Life is like a continuous adventure of fleshing out perspectives, self, and belief systems. One moment you’re so sure of your path and have your sights on something, another you’re lost in all the distracting details of decision making and prioritization. Your views get snagged on the cloth of another’s belief systems only to be ripped away again, and you find yourself mending that tear so it won’t completely scrape your ego. Through the process of that mending, you find your ego waning as a hidden love for the process emerges. The steps of enlightenment, humbled by thoughts gathered and released, letting go and dissipating. Knowing that you don’t have to hold on so tightly, it’s not going anywhere, it may just change. And it will change, and you will change if you let yourself. You really can change if you want to.

Many times we’ll come across challenges of other people’s perceptions and we’ll have to navigate accordingly. Our internal worlds sometimes evolving faster than the outer and it may seem like that outer world is moving at a snail’s pace. It’s remembering the power of thought and energy and keeping those in check that could be your saving grace. You are your thoughts and what you release is what is exchanged, a vibration of a certain frequency that either draws someone near or pushes them away. Similarly to what you digest through your body, something of a low nutritional vibration is going to deplete your energy source and what you consume may drive YOU away from your own mind and body – fog, brain fuzz, negative emotions, confusion, illness, dis-ease. Being aware of what you consume spiritually, mentally, and physically takes practice and commitment. It is work, but often we misconceive this work as a gift that someone else may have and not us, we may believe that it’s only the privileged that have access, the privilege of time and money, the privilege of strength or genetic make-up. But it’s that very perception that gets us into trouble, as we get wrought with comparing ourselves to others when we haven’t got a single clue where that person comes from and what their experiences have been and what they have to deal with. We are so assumptive. We cling onto the coat tails of so many beliefs that drag us along mercilessly, as victims of our own egos. If I believe this, this is what it means for me, therefore I am this type of person and not that, because to be that type of person would be lunacy. To consider that information, when so many other things have been mythically debunked, I’d be silly, I’d be a fool. And no one wants to be a fool.

What information do you instantly shoot down? and why? What facts do you think you actually know and what’s made you believe them? Have you experienced something first hand? have you seen it broken down molecularly, tested it out in experiments of your own? or was it something you heard from a source? is it a trusted source?

Investigative curiosity is a type of empowerment. Try wielding your own answers and results. Why just take some other source’s word for it? Let’s see what your guts have to say.

A little while ago, I asked you to choose your animal of flight…

So let’s see what their messages are!

If you chose 1. Opalite Owl…

It is time to raise your vibration. What does that mean exactly? According to the opalite owl, it’s shedding previous knowledge that has been sticking on you for quite awhile. It is time to evolve to something higher. This may mean a higher education, not necessarily in schooling, but the type of education that has you reaching and struggling at the tip of your brain, increasing connections of awareness, creating new links, new avenues, new streams.

This is also a time to nurture yourself and let yourself be drawn to nurturing things. Cultivate a collection of therapies that work with your senses. If you’ve been drawn to sounds lately, music, you’re feeding your auditory sense – what sounds lift you up? What sorts of instrumentals have you dancing on the wires of your internal mind?
Consider your other senses. Have you paid attention to what you’ve been smelling lately? Do you stop to smell flowers? cook to create nostalgic flavours in the kitchen? sip in the aroma of the coffee bean in the mornings to stimulate and awaken your soul? or the lovely fragrance of a selection of floral herbal tea?

Your well aware of touch at the moment, your hands are feeling the grit and grime. The daily grasping of physical things. A wet shower, the sticky sweat, a dry clean sock. And your eyes see an overwhelming amount of pictures and views on the daily, almost too much to process, your brain scrambling to file away what’s important, what can be glimpsed at and what you need to come back to.

But let’s get back to smell. It enters you in a visceral way, it toys out your memories, it also creates new ones. Play with this, play with nurturing ways to use scent to empower and enrich your soul – try a bubble bath with an essential oil, buy yourself some flowers or better yet, get outside somewhere with surrounding trees, and breathe.

Have a listen:

If you chose 2. Bat…

The night sonic, throwing a pitch. Wichita? A night time channel, where blindness is in the day. Trust, let go. All these posts and memes you read everyday, telling you to be mindful, and aware etc. etc. all that buzzword bullshit. It has merit to a degree, but the medium in which it’s delivered is washed down by a backlit screen with some randomly picked googled image with some serenity script font feeding you supposed words of wisdom passed down from a quote of a philosopher, extracted and out of context of some dead white guy’s life. Some dead person you heard of and were taught that they were notably and historically smart and have added to our human history in some kind of way.

Then that meme gets washed over by someone’s status, a humble-brag of their day and how awesome it was, you click “like” and move on. A post of an article on the benefits of some vitamin and how you should be getting more sleep as you read it passively staying up late on your laptop in bed, chewing on the inside of your mouth.

You are sucking on lifeless posts, you catch a glimmer of some knowledge and know and pass on the meme and pass on the information, but you move by it so fast, how much time did you actually let yourself digest this information before moving onto the next? And did this source actually give you some nourishment?

The bat carries itself around easily in the dark, navigating with echo-location. You need to get out and flutter about, use your voice and hear it echo, hear what vibrations come back to you, feel where the sound is, feel and hear where your night nutrition lies. You need to be the voice of your own stirrings for a while. The bat suggests you go schmooze, come out of your cave and try going to some kind of show enriched with the culture of your interests, or try something new. Meet-ups, classes, trying something new so your old doesn’t crust up in a batty cave.

To help combat the overstimulated battiness, have a listen:

If you chose 3. Winged Panther….

Prrrraow! The cat with wings with a sizzling purr, and a gargling growl. A surface animal with flight tendencies, as when things get tough on the ground, it’s made easy to fly away and go to higher surfaces. You may be on the defence lately. Defending your stance, licking your wounded ego. You’re embarrassed you don’t always land gracefully. But tell me, how many other flying cats are around like you?

Slinking from a certain kind of confrontation, being coy, expressing an old pattern. Teasing the silky strands from that ball of silky yarn, toying with it, seeing what will happen if you pummel it and then shooting off when it becomes a bit of a mess.

Everybody has a certain genetic disposition. If you spit in a cup and send it off you can get alls sorts of graphs and percentages telling you what you are likely to be prone to or what type of disease you could be vulnerable to. These statistical facts don’t mean you have the disease, just that you could be vulnerable to it. Once you express an aspect of yourself, you can tease that part of your genes out and activate it. Say, you have a genetic disposition to alcoholism, yet you never touch alcohol. Does that mean you’re an alcoholic? Say you have the genes that say you are most likely to be a smoker, but you never touched a cigarette, does that mean you’re a smoker?

What genes are you aware of in your family that have been teased out because of environment? How did a cat like you sprout wings in the first place? and is it really that hard to land after you’ve taken flight from the ground? You may have wings, you may be stumbling around, but know that even if it’s not graceful, you can still land and have your feet back on the ground. What you express and tease out can be seen, and you have the power to tidy it, you are not a victim to your disposition. With the power of your thoughts, you can land gracefully, take a moment to relish it and curl up in a cozy ball on the hilltops.

Hey hey hey, who am I to pass judgement that way:

And with that, my flighty creatures, I hope you land well wherever you are in your life. Whenever you need, the Doc is here for you.

Love and Guts,
Doc Goreblot

Virgo-ian Times

Perfection lays out the land of Virgo season. But it doesn’t have to be nit-picky, just well groomed and well looked after. I definitely feel the fall season hit as the nights are getting cooler and plans for more harvests are in the making. I love apple picking season, and even though the picking itself is short, there’s still something about it that stays with me, perhaps the pile of apples I then have to figure out what to do with afterwards. My favourite are Cortlands.

September is a great time for buckling down and working on your stuff, whatever it may be. And if you get flighty headed like me, with excitement for fall and all the air-like energy floating about, especially once we hit Libra season later this month (my sun sign is Libra in case you’re wondering), there are some methods to ground yourself. Try cooking a meal, especially for loved ones, there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing the progress of a project from start to finish and the finishing part being you get to eat it! well, dishes and clean up, but that is satisfying too when you do some team work with your mealtime partners. I cooked a meal for my mom and I the other night and got reminded how luvely it is to share mealtime together, so I am taking note to do more of this. Other grounding methods; reading, writing in a journal, physically touching the ground, dancing, and touching animals or other humans (upon permission of course! hugs are super lovely).

Anyhoo, onto the Goreblots!

Your choices come in the form of oddities; 1. a mummified mouse 2. ye old gin pills 3. cannon

Thinking of your question or issue that you wish to address, choose your pick and scroll down for your corresponding message.

If you chose 1. mummefied mouse…

Curled up and forgotten in some leather bag. You held on for a long time. Someone changed, you changed, a friend changed. Even if you stay in one position for so long, change happens inevitably, the decay takes over, dust settles into the crevices.

Your expectations became a habit, became the better of you. Feeling like you knew what to expect and continue to expect, until that change happened and your expectations started to crumble to the floor. It’s a little bit jarring. A role you once knew got taken away or denied and now it’s like you have to rehearse for a new part or continue to try and play the same old part. Try not to get yourself typecast though, I’m sure you are a bit tired of it yourself. For the sake of yourself and others, try to move on and move past what you expect of others in their roles. We get ourselves so restricted when we have to set ourselves around other people and our idea of what they need and what they are sensitive to.

A loop of tip toeing around sensitivities, yes it is nice to be considerate of others for sure, but you’re not being ultra altruistic by avoiding things you need to say or do in order to make someone else feel comfortable. And then it’s shocking to you when their mindset and actions change and you realize all along you really didn’t need to be doing any tip toeing, or being a certain way around them. Life is too short, let your guard down that you have up for others, they don’t need it and it certainly isn’t doing anyone any favours.

A song for you:

If you chose 2. the Gin Pills…

What do you do under influence? What takes your wind and sets your sails and pulls or pushes you in a direction, so fast and furious? All thanks to caffeine high, sugar high, alcohol buzz etc. What choices do you make that you might not otherwise if you were less or not at all influenced by substance?

Your impulsivity gives you a high that you can ride for a time, but then you’ll find it comes landing or crashing, depending, at a certain point. So make and take extra caution when throwing yourself to the wind, the choices you make are still your own and you cannot blame it on substance as you’re the one that still had the hand and gumption in consuming it.

Impaired judgment is kind of subjective, unless otherwise unlawful and unkind to another person. You really are still aware of what’s happening, just rather quite lazy in response to your inner ethics and morals, your judgment is quite sharp when you intentionally take that impulsive swig of whatever concoction it is that passes your lips. And you know and understand the outcome, you’ve been there before. Seems like you continue to soar over your options still, choosing to be as blind as a bird attempting to fly to that otherworld reflected in that window glass. Unfortunately, that illusionary world will have you smacking yourself with immediate regret and pain. You do have better eyes and a better brain than a bird. Think twice, otherwise be a bird brain, it’s your choice.

Here’s a little diddy for you:

And if you chose 3. Cannon…

Bam. Stretching yourself thin you are reaching for ways to ground your profession, your path, your passion. Explosions of energy pass through you but still seems like you’re not quite hitting your target.

Do you aim your weapon before firing it? or do you ruthlessly fire all over the place hoping that eventually that ball will land in a spot where might be considered a target? Consider for a moment, your intentions. It doesn’t hurt to take a few extra moments to be meticulous about where you want to land, you don’t have to be rife with perfection either, but knowing where you want to land and perhaps an idea of how you’ll get there will be a tremendous help to you.

Take Young Frankenstein for thought, he wanted to succeed so badly, yet he overlooked some major details in his process, he seemed to skip ahead to the fun part, not realizing his monster human got an abnormal brain instead of the one he intended. Please don’t end up with an abnormal brain!
But seriously, he really did have somewhat good intentions didn’t he? or at least this insane idea that he’d recreate life as we know it. All I’m saying is, be careful what you aim for, you may just get exactly what you intended in the first place, in a sense, however overlooking some details will have you winding up in a bit of a mess where you will be taking some time to untangle yourself from. Know that you can hit your target if you just take a bit of extra time and focus on your intentions and how you want to feel getting there. Exploding all over the place may be fun, but then there will be quite a few pieces to pick up and clean up. Just something to keep in mind.

Here’s a song for that driven energy!:

As always, the Doc is here if you need.

Love and Guts,
Doc G.