When And Where There’s A Will Goreblot Fortune

Will you be?

“We may think will-power is involved, but more likely…change is due to want power.  Wanting the new addiction more than the old one.  Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now.” ~George A. Sheehan, physician and senior athlete.

We all know the old idiom “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”.  In the 1600’s it was slightly different, To him that will, ways are not wanting.  We want will! But sometimes our ways get the better of us and then we have to find where that will went to.

It’s divvying up our stores of will and pushing to find answers because we want something badly enough.  Willpower is a muscle we have to flex and strengthen in order to make things work in our favour.  And depending how you’ve accumulated certain habits that get in the way, your will powers might have weakened.  But if we believe in something wholeheartedly enough, if we allow ourselves some faith, it can be enough to drive us to our goals.  It’s that word ‘enough’, that tips or overflows the needing of something to happen, that it’s just enough to push us.

Change is going to happen whether we like it or not.  There is always a force unseen tinkering with our daily lives and expectations.  How we deal with these forces and potentially make some our own, is completely up to our will.

If you find you are struggling to find a way, know that the struggle is a good sign, it’s a sign that you want to make actionable change, you have the will! It is in you, and even though it may take time to find the way, and find the force within you, it will come out and it will be glorious!

To help with finding ways, I managed to think of looking up an app for focus as I have terrible struggles with my own focus, personally.  Keeping on task is something I truly have a hard time with and so my will is there to change this and transform this.  You poke at something long enough with a stick, eventually it’s going to budge, even if you just poked it with the stick a bit harder.

So here’s the app I was talking about.  I’m using it now as I type and rattle on.  I’ve tried an egg timer but I keep forgetting to think about using it.  And since these are times of digital habits, it makes sense to just go with the tools that we easily reach for anyways.  Why make the fight harder, when you can be slightly sneaky about it?

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/focus-keeper-work-study-timer/id830466924?mt=8

I’m still fresh to it, but the chunking of time is real clever and makes things manageable.  The ticking sounds help put a cadence to my focus as well.

And one more I discovered to try using is a brain training app.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.lumoslabs.lumosity&hl=en

This one seems to be good to train those uncomfortable places, slowly reach new goals each day, only takes a moment of your time and could be used when you are in transit or waiting in line or something.

The goal is always to find ways to improve ourselves.  Finding ways to poke around and explore and discover.  If you’re finding you’re stuck, instead of focusing on all the things that make you stuck, try a different approach, a sneaky approach, a teeny tiny thing you can implement each day.  And if you’d like some guidance, try a Goreblot down below and see where it takes you!

On to the Goreblot fortunes!

A while back I posted….

xray of vertebrae bones

Think of an issue you would like to address, listen to your gut, then pick a number and scroll down.  Your corresponding Goreblot fortune awaits you!

If you chose #1….

orange watercolour

Body Slam.  What’s your jam?  How do you move day to day? Do you slouche?  Do you hunch? Are you sitting mostly? Standing? Do you find certain body parts protrude more than you’d like?

Posture is something everyone battles with.  How you are holding yourself is a symptom to how you train your body the entire day.  If you train your body to sit mostly, maybe with a wallet in your back pocket, you are training your hips to be imbalanced, having one higher than the other.  This eventually leads to other problems down the road that will involve your back, your spine.

With these odd trainings, your body will compensate the imbalances in weird ways.  Indeed, it takes work to train the body opposite to what you’ve been unknowingly training it to do.  But even 5 minutes per day of an exercise to counter the imbalance can do wonders.

Every movement you make is a type of practice for your body.  A physical training.  That is, if you are sitting most of your days, you are training your body to be sedentary.  Low activity.

Your physical training directly corresponds to your mental health.  That is, your body will translate what’s going on through your brain, through your body in various symptoms.  Stress is a big one and your body will let you know pretty easily when you are stressed.  But it can also be sneaky because we often don’t think we are stressed.

Not getting enough sleep? Watching Netflix too late in the evening? Checking your email before or even in bed? Watch out for these habits, as artificial lighting will translate and accumulate into your body’s responses to other things you throw at it.

If you want to read a little more on the effects of light on the body subject: http://www.lightingservices.com/lighting-human-biological-behaviour

Here’s a song to get you tumbling and tinkering around in your body:

If you chose #2…
green and red watercolour

Thick and syrupy.  Mind sluggish and scattered.  Combating the drain, fighting for energy levels, will-power, and your attention.  Your need to focus.  Everything is an interruption.  Hunger, boredom, children, pets and phone calls.  If you’re on the computer or your phone, your attention and time seems doomed.  Your will-power has finite ability and you only have so much supply of it in one day.

Then, habits kick in, you go on automatic pilot, and you find yourself plugged in.  Remember the 1999 science fiction movie, The Matrix? Where everybody’s perceived reality is actually a simulated world that they are plugged into called, the matrix.  Human beings subdued by robots that use their internal energy sources for electrical power.  Not too far off from where we are today. (social media is like simulated worlds, our energy goes into them, and data gets collected for companies and ads- robots collecting energy!).

You are still opting to be in that simulated world.  That’s ok, but you have a feeling and you know there’s more out there.  If you could just break free.

I encourage you to pull the plug.  Turn off the switch.  Go for a walk with just you and nature.  Sit in the dark with just yourself and meditate.  You will probably start to experience an itchy, creeping feeling when you first attempt to practice this.  It is only anxiousness, fear, something you learned, and it’s bubbling up because you are attempting to break it’s cycle.

That moment when you get washed over with these feelings, thoughts flood in, future and past lists of things well up in your brain, all syrupy and drowning your sense of peace.  Drowning your awareness of the unthreatening present.  All that energetic heat you are letting bundle in your nervous system and giving power to, you are giving power to the matrix.  We all do it, every once and a while, we let our energy go in places that are simulated.  Simulated by our own brains, simulated by technology.  Navigating through screens, and unseen depths, and fears.

Just know, you have the power to unplug.  You can take that red pill and awaken.  Release those simulated worlds that have a hold on you, and find your powerful true nature.  In the present.

Here’s a little red pill song anthem to get you going:

If you chose #3…
gooey watercolour

Vague parasite.  Connecting with people.  Absent crush.  Writhing inside while around people who writhe on the outside.  When alone things about yourself emerge.

There will always be this little thing that eats at you.  Things you should have done, things you should have said.  The little ‘what if’ parasite.  It takes you from yourself.  Takes you from totally being free and being yourself around others.

The freeze, the filter, the holding your truth back.  The worry that something about you may trigger another person’s sensitivities.

Truth is, everyone has their own little parasites.  And they all have different combinations of them, picking them up along the way from different environments, different sandboxes of experiences. How much are those little worms holding you back? How much do you tip toe around other people to avoid confrontation and to avoid their parasites?

If you opened your mouth a little more, things will come out, they will disperse.  You cannot control something once it’s outside of you.  Once something has left your being, an action, a word, whatever, it is no longer just yours.  Other people will react, other people will act accordingly around your stuff.  That is not to say, don’t take responsibility for your actions.  It is to say, that you cannot control what other people are going to do about it.  Only you can continually work on you.

Try practicing less filtering. Remember those sandbox days when there were no worries, and there was only sand to play with.  Those castles you made and then tore down.  You may have torn someone else’s sand creation down, either on purpose or by accident.  But there was always sand, there were always hands to rebuild those castles.

Impermanence permeates life.  The struggles and suffering you create and cling to, is just that, a clinging.  But everything passes.  Sand gets washed away.

Parasites can get the better of us, so here’s a song to shake some of them out…

I hope these Goreblots meet you well! Contemplate and release this Libra Full Moon. And if you need, don’t be afraid to get in touch!

Love and Guts,
Doc G.

Goreblot Ghost

doc goreblot looking at the comfort maple
Comfort Maple
“True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.” ~Francois de La Rochefoulcauld

In these winter days, time slips through my papery fingers like slippery sand granules.

When there are not many markers like a routine job to go to, any people I regularly see, or life milestones, I get lost adrift in my own world like an apparition. I become a ghost.

When I was living with my parents, my dad called me a ghost. He exclaimed, “I hardly ever see you, you always go up to your room.  You’re like a ghost in this house.”
My dad is now passed, so ironically he is now the ghost of the house. But, I can’t help but hear his words echo inside my ear these days.

Yes, I’ve been a ghost to this website. I’ve been a ghost to friends and social media. I’ve been but an apparition nervously flitting around trying to find the light.  Trying to find my way. Part of this ghosting is in my history and in my nature. Perhaps, some is due to my being adopted and having awkward attachment issues.

Soul searching can go on for a really, really long time. I think it’s a continuous process anyways. I’ve experimented with different dieting and exercise regime to shake me up and start seizing the day. I made lots of attempts that resulted in lots of failures. I’d make commitments to classes in hopes that somewhere attending those classes, I’d find myself.  Or gain some confidence.

I have been reading lots of self-help and philosophy books which I find do help (I’ll make a list below), but take up a good amount of time to read (because screen distraction in these times break up my attention span even more).  And reading doesn’t always offer immediate insight. But hold on, is there a rush? Insight seems to come at it’s own pace, I’ve found, and through experience.  I simply cannot rush insight, no matter how much I stare and squint at that pot waiting for it to boil. It’s one thing to read and philosophize about a concept and then preach about it, and it’s another thing to actually practice it. One needs to experiment and try things out and eventually something will happen where you will experience something and that’s where the knowledge of insight embeds itself unto/into you.  Take that self!

In these ghost days, I haven’t been completely still.  I have been getting a variety of readings like Tarot, practicing reading my own cards and doing some journalling. I’ve even tried out Past Life Regression, an unexpectedly vivid and intense experience where I gathered some interesting information.  With all these experiences, insights, my darlings, were weeping out of my pores.  But it still seemed like I was dancing around something.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

All of these fantastic attempts at finding some grounding, finding some purpose. But the key I found was finding simplicity and that there is no one key.  As things were expanding, there was some natural contracting to the heat of each moment. But keeping things simple and organized and clear, feels like a definite key to finding myself some grounding and stabilization.

I have anxiety issues that can tumble into depression. Or vice versa. I’ve been able to find the triggers, mostly, and surprise, those are in diet and physical stresses.  It can be so obvious, these straight forward cues, but somehow we can get so embedded in our habits, it’s tricky to remove yourself and look in.  It takes acceptance, and objective observance to really stab at what’s going on underneath the surface.

So back to simplicity- now, I am a person who never got structure drilled in at a young age. I was never told to do chores or make my bed. I didn’t have a particular time where I studied or did my homework, it was always last minute. So I have an extra hard time of creating my own structure.

looking out to the waters
Looking Out- Photo by Harley Pageot

I could sit and hideaway forever like a ghost and not have to deal with people and stressors, but I know as much as anyone I have an itch to scratch and part of that is to come out and seize a purpose that shapes my life. There is too much passion in me to be a ghost and flit about for too long.  There is only so much hiding and feeling sad about hiding that can be done.

I’ve returned to repeated points where I would get tired of myself, the same thoughts and patterns happening over and over. Tired of not putting a foot out there, tired of not trying hard enough.  My history speaks of attempts, but also I must not overlook the successes as they are proof that I can be more and do more.

Simplicity comes to me in form of not trying to tackle all the things, but methodically replacing the bad habits or inserting particular structures.  I also need a slight amount of effort to quiet that convincing drill sergeant in my head.  I’m sure you have one too, screaming in your ear, shouting demands and surely some painful insults to go with them.

To help quiet that sergeant just a little more, I need to remember, and have reminders that, I am enough.  I am worthwhile.

I always knew mornings had something to them every time I’ve attempted to integrate them into my life. Mornings are where things happen. And this is across the board in some research that I have read.  It really is as simple as aligning with nature, where quiet starts and awareness starts taking place.

I discovered making my bed every morning has snowballed into other structure making habits. This stuff is CBT, is yoga practice, is mindfulness, is Ayurveda – it all connects to this idea of simple awareness.  This return to mindful practice.

I can’t stress enough that it isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Especially, where we’re in a world now where our default is to claw around and wrestle with ‘busyness’, stress about future things, agonize about past things and fight for our time.  Time that seems steadily slipping through our key tapping fingers, our gaze, miles away from our bodies.

This is a time now to know that every moment is an opportunity.  An opportunity to live and feel how I want to feel.  Everything else, future worries, past regrets, are just phantoms.  I relinquish my self imposed ghost status as it no longer serves me.

I hope you do the same and become solid with me.

You can find me here, and also here, come say hi!

Love and Guts,

Doc Goreblot

**Here are some helpful books that I have found very useful.

-The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron Ph. D.

here