Distraction Action Goreblot Fortunes

“Maybe a spot of cocaine would help…”

Oh distractions. I cannot lie.  When it comes to to-do lists and checklists, I make them, but they’re never in an organized fashion.  I waste my time being distracted, so much so that I believe it is a disorder, it is chronic distraction, a real, very real problem.  I have all the good intent, but somewhere along the road when I have or am gaining momentum, I run amok and self-sabotage my efforts.  This happens through distractive impulses.  It’s like I can’t help it!

What happens is the priorities in my mind instantly get shuffled when a thought enters, a curiosity passes through nabbing my attention and without even thinking, I oblige it.  I satiate many of these thought impulses by following through, like looking up a question on Google, going to a store, leaving the room to look in another room.  It’s like the nagging is too much and since I know I can satisfy it if I act on it immediately, then I just do so.  Where’s the harm?

It’s an attention grabbing dance

A dance of distractions.  A dance of avoidance, because it seems so hard to just sit for a moment, unfurl and give in to one task.  All I need is enough focus for one task.  But it is such a struggle.  And the struggle is real my friends.

It’s incredible how much distractive habits can get the better of you.  Like pulling the lever over and over at the slot machine, waiting for the next combo of items to pop up and anticipating that satisfying winning feeling.  If the feeling doesn’t come right away, that’s ok, I’m on my ass anyways, might as well do another round, again, what’s the harm?

The chemicals are real and they want to steal my brain juice!

Amazing how much focus a distraction can steal.  Why is that? Why do all the click bait, Google searches, pacing around distractives get all the attention? Instant gratification.  The very fact that we get addicted to plugging into those sweet sweet dopamine centres (see what I did there? I inserted a link for you to go on a tangent and read more therefore encouraging this distractive habit).

We are forever chasing the next fix.  Or are we running from boredom and responsibility? Feeling itchy and unsettled with the quiet.  Feeling anxious to be with our own thoughts and unconnected to the world.  Anxious about missing out and getting that instant feedback.  Notifications are crack and for people like me that don’t get out much and connect with humans that often, it can be lethal.

There is definitely something to it all….

At least I can say I’m self aware.  I am very aware of this situation and I am trying to get myself out of the pickling that I throw myself into.

There are moments where I’ll get up and feel and see the environment around me and how big it is.  Like waking up and realizing there is still a world that’s real that surrounds my physical being.  It’s a breath of fresh air and sometimes literally when I’m able to drag myself outside.

goreblot fortunes time

Without further talk about distractions, to which I could run many tangents on and thoughts on – all the puns intended.  I bring you another episode of Goreblot fortunes. This time brought to you by the lovely stages of rosemary steeped in water.

rosemary in water

Thinking of a question or issue you’d like some guidance towards, pick a number and scroll down to find your corresponding Goreblot fortune. I paint and write each individual fortune through a reading style I call paintomancy. Please dive in and see what your guts have to say!

  1. Rosemary light

Disperse. Emergence.  Particle.  Immerse yourself into new depths.  You are discovering you have come to a point where you can really spread out and test your skills.  Question your limits and what limits you have set upon yourself.  Begin again with new defying wonder and curiosity of the simple ingredients that already exist in your cupboard.

Take your mind to new magics and new possibilities.  Awaken and explore.  You are as ready as a stream of cream becoming a huge cloud in it’s new coffee home.

At first, the simple space and freedom seems daunting, but you will find your edges. You will reach the perfect fit.  It just takes that first drip, that first drizzle or pour and then you open up the floodgates to a new world.

There’s the sense sometimes that unexplored territory is still somehow, somewhat familiar, yeah? Perhaps you explored it so much with your mind that physically going there was just making it more solid for you.

Perhaps this is why it took so long to initiate, you having visited this place so many times before with your mind.  You visited and explored all the angles so many times with your mind’s eye.

This is your time to initiate the real.  Begin and initiate beyond the spark of an idea.  Set into motion and explore and create.  Experiment and toy with the depths.  There is no losing in this action, only gaining such things as perspective, momentum and most certainly, insight.

So take a moment and rise above. Here’s your song to jam to for the coming weekend and week.

 

2. Rosemary medium
rosemary medium

We are such romantics sometimes when it comes to our expectations. We dream up situations and how its all going to go down. We anticipate the following steps to our one step. It’s exciting. Anticipation is the best feeling even before the final result as you get to imagine, excitedly, what is to come next.

Perhaps, not all situations are exciting. There’s the possibility that the delicate balance of excite can tip into anxiousness and nervousness. Notice at what point does it tip? Where does the excitement end and the anxiety begin? As if to say you can’t allow yourself the luxury of happy anticipation. It has to come crashing down with worry because the world has so many factors that could make it go wrong.

You find yourself suspended, blocked and paralyzed. You no longer want to anticipate happily, instead you default to crunching into a ball and biting your nails, drinking alcohol, or curling back into bed. All those succulent coping mechanisms come swirling in to soothe.

Why is anticipation so worrisome? At what point did you switch? The expectations then become external and you project them on what you think others expect from you. Soon your whole world becomes this one big demand on top of more demands but still nothing has budged.

So this is a call to reel (or real) yourself back in. Centre yourself and ground yourself with tangibles. Turn off your expectation projections and remind yourself of the joys of not knowing. Allow your future self to handle it however it is going to happen. And really see your present self in the process, getting lost in the steps and enjoying what is, no care of future expectations and bombardments because you know you have yourself covered. Right now.

Why put it off another day? Here’s your anthem for the weekend and coming week.

3. Rosemary dark
dark rosemary

Deep and glandular. The process has been seen through to this beautiful age. You can finish here whatever you have started. There is something really satisfying in following your process. Tracking each accomplished step, marking it and charting it.

Each step was satisfaction because you remained curious and open the entire time. There may have been some uncomfortable struggles, but you knew that was part of it, you’ve been there before. Uncomfortable struggles are what make us learn and grow. If we were comfortable all the time, we’d end up a potato, brain and organs, all potato.

Just remember this accomplishment, whether small or big. Take note, in fact, of all your triumphs. Spin a true tale of yourself when the going gets rough and do not let yourself slip into the trines of negative self-talk habits. You have the power to spin things around. You have worked hard and no one should have the power to take that away from you.

No one knows your history like you do.

Often times after seeing a project through to completion, there are stages of celebration and then stages of grievances. After the initial achievement, there is the inevitable come down from that high. It is imperative not to let the down define you or shake you out of your solid grounding and the foundation that you created for yourself. There is now more significant evidence and proof that you are capable and your endeavours are worthwhile.

Remember that. You are worthwhile and what you have done is something to celebrate and you have the power to continue on to the next adventure. Accept your brilliance, stand back and admire it from another angle. If you should ever forget or find the tug of negative habit, make a list of things that bring you up. Put up a visible reminder of things that you’ve accomplished and all your wonderful traits.

If you have photos, put those up. Anything to shine your capabilities to the stars and remind you of your power, your strength. It is in you and you have done it. Celebrate that, well done!

Get your game on and go play. Here’s your anthem for this weekend and the coming week.

Have a glorious weekend folks!

Love and Guts,
Doc Goreblot

Goreblot Ghost

doc goreblot looking at the comfort maple
Comfort Maple
“True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.” ~Francois de La Rochefoulcauld

In these winter days, time slips through my papery fingers like slippery sand granules.

When there are not many markers like a routine job to go to, any people I regularly see, or life milestones, I get lost adrift in my own world like an apparition. I become a ghost.

When I was living with my parents, my dad called me a ghost. He exclaimed, “I hardly ever see you, you always go up to your room.  You’re like a ghost in this house.”
My dad is now passed, so ironically he is now the ghost of the house. But, I can’t help but hear his words echo inside my ear these days.

Yes, I’ve been a ghost to this website. I’ve been a ghost to friends and social media. I’ve been but an apparition nervously flitting around trying to find the light.  Trying to find my way. Part of this ghosting is in my history and in my nature. Perhaps, some is due to my being adopted and having awkward attachment issues.

Soul searching can go on for a really, really long time. I think it’s a continuous process anyways. I’ve experimented with different dieting and exercise regime to shake me up and start seizing the day. I made lots of attempts that resulted in lots of failures. I’d make commitments to classes in hopes that somewhere attending those classes, I’d find myself.  Or gain some confidence.

I have been reading lots of self-help and philosophy books which I find do help (I’ll make a list below), but take up a good amount of time to read (because screen distraction in these times break up my attention span even more).  And reading doesn’t always offer immediate insight. But hold on, is there a rush? Insight seems to come at it’s own pace, I’ve found, and through experience.  I simply cannot rush insight, no matter how much I stare and squint at that pot waiting for it to boil. It’s one thing to read and philosophize about a concept and then preach about it, and it’s another thing to actually practice it. One needs to experiment and try things out and eventually something will happen where you will experience something and that’s where the knowledge of insight embeds itself unto/into you.  Take that self!

In these ghost days, I haven’t been completely still.  I have been getting a variety of readings like Tarot, practicing reading my own cards and doing some journalling. I’ve even tried out Past Life Regression, an unexpectedly vivid and intense experience where I gathered some interesting information.  With all these experiences, insights, my darlings, were weeping out of my pores.  But it still seemed like I was dancing around something.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

All of these fantastic attempts at finding some grounding, finding some purpose. But the key I found was finding simplicity and that there is no one key.  As things were expanding, there was some natural contracting to the heat of each moment. But keeping things simple and organized and clear, feels like a definite key to finding myself some grounding and stabilization.

I have anxiety issues that can tumble into depression. Or vice versa. I’ve been able to find the triggers, mostly, and surprise, those are in diet and physical stresses.  It can be so obvious, these straight forward cues, but somehow we can get so embedded in our habits, it’s tricky to remove yourself and look in.  It takes acceptance, and objective observance to really stab at what’s going on underneath the surface.

So back to simplicity- now, I am a person who never got structure drilled in at a young age. I was never told to do chores or make my bed. I didn’t have a particular time where I studied or did my homework, it was always last minute. So I have an extra hard time of creating my own structure.

looking out to the waters
Looking Out- Photo by Harley Pageot

I could sit and hideaway forever like a ghost and not have to deal with people and stressors, but I know as much as anyone I have an itch to scratch and part of that is to come out and seize a purpose that shapes my life. There is too much passion in me to be a ghost and flit about for too long.  There is only so much hiding and feeling sad about hiding that can be done.

I’ve returned to repeated points where I would get tired of myself, the same thoughts and patterns happening over and over. Tired of not putting a foot out there, tired of not trying hard enough.  My history speaks of attempts, but also I must not overlook the successes as they are proof that I can be more and do more.

Simplicity comes to me in form of not trying to tackle all the things, but methodically replacing the bad habits or inserting particular structures.  I also need a slight amount of effort to quiet that convincing drill sergeant in my head.  I’m sure you have one too, screaming in your ear, shouting demands and surely some painful insults to go with them.

To help quiet that sergeant just a little more, I need to remember, and have reminders that, I am enough.  I am worthwhile.

I always knew mornings had something to them every time I’ve attempted to integrate them into my life. Mornings are where things happen. And this is across the board in some research that I have read.  It really is as simple as aligning with nature, where quiet starts and awareness starts taking place.

I discovered making my bed every morning has snowballed into other structure making habits. This stuff is CBT, is yoga practice, is mindfulness, is Ayurveda – it all connects to this idea of simple awareness.  This return to mindful practice.

I can’t stress enough that it isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Especially, where we’re in a world now where our default is to claw around and wrestle with ‘busyness’, stress about future things, agonize about past things and fight for our time.  Time that seems steadily slipping through our key tapping fingers, our gaze, miles away from our bodies.

This is a time now to know that every moment is an opportunity.  An opportunity to live and feel how I want to feel.  Everything else, future worries, past regrets, are just phantoms.  I relinquish my self imposed ghost status as it no longer serves me.

I hope you do the same and become solid with me.

You can find me here, and also here, come say hi!

Love and Guts,

Doc Goreblot

**Here are some helpful books that I have found very useful.

-The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron Ph. D.

here

Virgo-ian Times

Perfection lays out the land of Virgo season. But it doesn’t have to be nit-picky, just well groomed and well looked after. I definitely feel the fall season hit as the nights are getting cooler and plans for more harvests are in the making. I love apple picking season, and even though the picking itself is short, there’s still something about it that stays with me, perhaps the pile of apples I then have to figure out what to do with afterwards. My favourite are Cortlands.

September is a great time for buckling down and working on your stuff, whatever it may be. And if you get flighty headed like me, with excitement for fall and all the air-like energy floating about, especially once we hit Libra season later this month (my sun sign is Libra in case you’re wondering), there are some methods to ground yourself. Try cooking a meal, especially for loved ones, there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing the progress of a project from start to finish and the finishing part being you get to eat it! well, dishes and clean up, but that is satisfying too when you do some team work with your mealtime partners. I cooked a meal for my mom and I the other night and got reminded how luvely it is to share mealtime together, so I am taking note to do more of this. Other grounding methods; reading, writing in a journal, physically touching the ground, dancing, and touching animals or other humans (upon permission of course! hugs are super lovely).

Anyhoo, onto the Goreblots!

Your choices come in the form of oddities; 1. a mummified mouse 2. ye old gin pills 3. cannon
mousegincannon

Thinking of your question or issue that you wish to address, choose your pick and scroll down for your corresponding message.

If you chose 1. mummefied mouse…
mummifiedmouse

Curled up and forgotten in some leather bag. You held on for a long time. Someone changed, you changed, a friend changed. Even if you stay in one position for so long, change happens inevitably, the decay takes over, dust settles into the crevices.

Your expectations became a habit, became the better of you. Feeling like you knew what to expect and continue to expect, until that change happened and your expectations started to crumble to the floor. It’s a little bit jarring. A role you once knew got taken away or denied and now it’s like you have to rehearse for a new part or continue to try and play the same old part. Try not to get yourself typecast though, I’m sure you are a bit tired of it yourself. For the sake of yourself and others, try to move on and move past what you expect of others in their roles. We get ourselves so restricted when we have to set ourselves around other people and our idea of what they need and what they are sensitive to.

A loop of tip toeing around sensitivities, yes it is nice to be considerate of others for sure, but you’re not being ultra altruistic by avoiding things you need to say or do in order to make someone else feel comfortable. And then it’s shocking to you when their mindset and actions change and you realize all along you really didn’t need to be doing any tip toeing, or being a certain way around them. Life is too short, let your guard down that you have up for others, they don’t need it and it certainly isn’t doing anyone any favours.

A song for you:

If you chose 2. the Gin Pills…
ginpills

What do you do under influence? What takes your wind and sets your sails and pulls or pushes you in a direction, so fast and furious? All thanks to caffeine high, sugar high, alcohol buzz etc. What choices do you make that you might not otherwise if you were less or not at all influenced by substance?

Your impulsivity gives you a high that you can ride for a time, but then you’ll find it comes landing or crashing, depending, at a certain point. So make and take extra caution when throwing yourself to the wind, the choices you make are still your own and you cannot blame it on substance as you’re the one that still had the hand and gumption in consuming it.

Impaired judgment is kind of subjective, unless otherwise unlawful and unkind to another person. You really are still aware of what’s happening, just rather quite lazy in response to your inner ethics and morals, your judgment is quite sharp when you intentionally take that impulsive swig of whatever concoction it is that passes your lips. And you know and understand the outcome, you’ve been there before. Seems like you continue to soar over your options still, choosing to be as blind as a bird attempting to fly to that otherworld reflected in that window glass. Unfortunately, that illusionary world will have you smacking yourself with immediate regret and pain. You do have better eyes and a better brain than a bird. Think twice, otherwise be a bird brain, it’s your choice.

Here’s a little diddy for you:

And if you chose 3. Cannon…
cannon

Bam. Stretching yourself thin you are reaching for ways to ground your profession, your path, your passion. Explosions of energy pass through you but still seems like you’re not quite hitting your target.

Do you aim your weapon before firing it? or do you ruthlessly fire all over the place hoping that eventually that ball will land in a spot where might be considered a target? Consider for a moment, your intentions. It doesn’t hurt to take a few extra moments to be meticulous about where you want to land, you don’t have to be rife with perfection either, but knowing where you want to land and perhaps an idea of how you’ll get there will be a tremendous help to you.

Take Young Frankenstein for thought, he wanted to succeed so badly, yet he overlooked some major details in his process, he seemed to skip ahead to the fun part, not realizing his monster human got an abnormal brain instead of the one he intended. Please don’t end up with an abnormal brain!
But seriously, he really did have somewhat good intentions didn’t he? or at least this insane idea that he’d recreate life as we know it. All I’m saying is, be careful what you aim for, you may just get exactly what you intended in the first place, in a sense, however overlooking some details will have you winding up in a bit of a mess where you will be taking some time to untangle yourself from. Know that you can hit your target if you just take a bit of extra time and focus on your intentions and how you want to feel getting there. Exploding all over the place may be fun, but then there will be quite a few pieces to pick up and clean up. Just something to keep in mind.

Here’s a song for that driven energy!:

As always, the Doc is here if you need.

Love and Guts,
Doc G.

It was a Goreblot Hiatus

It’s been a long time coming to return. The longer I left it, the more guilt that built up and the more procrastination that proceeded because I left it too long. I also have been doing other things and for some reason I feel the unmindful need to save precious brain and body power when I have many activities going on. It’s the unspoken expectations I put on myself once I start pursuing a project. Momentum builds and with it, fear? or laziness?
I really do enjoy doing weekly Goreblots, so there is no excuse that I can conjure that would be satisfying enough in my mind. But perhaps that is my inner perfectionist drill sergeant speaking.

Implementing new habits and lifestyle changes is challenging. To train the brain to follow suit takes a bit of time, it takes time to adapt and ease off the grip of old thoughts and beliefs and habits. It takes practice to be mindful of yourself and what’s happening within as you make these changes. It’s often easy to aim for the superficial changes, the ones you can share right away and gloat progress. There’s nothing wrong with sharing, as long as you remember to come back to yourself, and really key into yourself internally. I made a lot of changes and adjustments to my diet recently and I have been working on it since January this year, 2016. The more I read, the more I learn and have to figure out ways to adjust again and then again. The frustrating beauty lies in the fact that there’s no one way to be set, there’s not going to be one way that works. There is going to be layers of things that work in different ways and overlap. If you start focusing on one thing and it grows to this hyper-focused obsession, you are going to miss the other valuable things that may help on the sidelines. It’s consideration for all the other things that play into your sphere and make things connect and happen for you. It’s playing the role of being your own scientist to your own mind and body. As a scientist, you need to be open minded, open to the fact that variables happen and there will always be another thing that will challenge your notion of what you thought was a standstill truth.

I continuously learn how organization is important for me, and how clear intention helps guide me to my goals and the more clear and honest I am with myself, the easier it is to set up the steps to get there. I’m starting to get out of the vagueness fog and making more firm decisions which is a big challenge for me! Help should never be too below anyone, and it takes a brave soul to ask for it as well as being aware and truthful to yourself when you truly need it. I found another way to boost motivation and attain goals is connecting with sources in a community that you feel you represent. Finding your people, your cult, club, group, society etc., will truly enrich your experience, deepen your understanding and broaden your perspective inevitably and naturally. You’ll find that once you’ve found your people, you’ll find an ease in being vulnerable to each other in what you share. You’ll find the world open up a little more in different areas of your life the more you pursue this and open up yourself.

Hiatus

The physical body as it is, is designed to heal itself. When the brain/mind is at dis-ease, the body reacts and vice versa. To implement change for the mind in habit and/or mental health, prescribe gradual shifts and changes with care, as you would if you were to begin a workout program. Set short term and long term goals, take measurements – in the case of the mind, journalling would be an excellent way to do this, talk to someone to help with your perspective and walk through the snags you encounter, and foremost, be gentle to yourself as you make these small adjustments. Also, an important key is to find that commitment to follow through, and often this is in goal setting and support systems. Being held accountable in some kind of way can drive you to the next steps when you’re ready. And what are some simple ways to get started? I recently discovered the beauty of a simple routine can do wonders for headspace and these simple actions for me are; making the bed and cleaning the dishes right after I’ve dirtied them, cleaning as I go and tidying. Very simple actions, but it has helped create space in my mind for more time to focus on the things I really want to crack down on. It’s a transferable practice as they metaphorically or however you want to put it, relate, in that you take care of business now, you will have less to deal with later and it won’t build up and it will also feel more satisfying and rewarding that it is done. Putting yourself into the act of these simple routines that nourish you and your surroundings will feel like magic and it very well can be.

Take in mind the simple thought that once you start and do something you can then ask yourself, “If I can do this, what else can I do?” or take it from improv (I’ve been taking classes) and take the notion, “If this is true, what else is true?” and a whole world of possibilities will start to open up for you.

Up next: a long overdue public Goreblot 😀

Love and Guts,
Doc Goreblot <3

Intro Goreblot Fortune Fridays with Special guest

Today, I’d like to introduce my first Feature Goreblot Fortune Friday with musical talent, doom experimental rapper, GARBAGEFACE.  I met Karol Orzechowski back in 2009/10 when I went on an artist specific guided tour  to NYC by METHINKS productions, he co-guided the bus tour along with peer Ryan Ringer, and Alex Bowron.  It was one of those trips that made a lasting impression and lasting connections with other fellow artists I still stay in touch with.  Seeing GARBAGEFACE for the first time perform in a couple of awesome venues in NYC among all the richness of creativity in such a busy city, had me hooked from the beginning.

Karol is doing a lot of awesome things in the Peterborough, Ontario music scene these days and he regularly tours.  Keep watch for his new album coming soon in JUNE 2016.

We’ve got a whammy of a Friday this one being a full moon in Scorpio and also Earth Day! I have a sale going on at my Etsy store, all items will be 22% off.  Just use the coupon code: BEAVERMOON22 upon purchasing.

 

Also pretty crazy news to hear that music legend Prince has passed away today at the tender young age of 57.  It’s been a weird year.

Without further a due, here are the choices for this week’s Goreblot Fortune Friday! Words contributed by GARBAGE face himself!

All you have to do is choose one or more of these words, follow your gut and tomorrow your fortune will be revealed to you.

Goreblot Fortune Friday is a series of FREE readings I do every Friday that I started on Instagram.  The idea is a lot like other divination methods.  Inspired by the Rorschach inkblot test, I put a twist on it in that the inquirer/patient picks the words and I produce a painted fortune via paintomancy along with a written guidance to complete it.  With these FREE readings I supply a choice of 3 words, sometimes images, that inquirers can choose from.  And on Friday, the Goreblot Fortune painting is revealed!

It’s fun and interesting and I hope to connect with more souls.  If you check out my Etsy store, you will find a couple of reading offerings there to get your VERY own personal CUSTOMIZED Goreblot fortune painting.  Getting your own reading makes things more personal and specific to you and if you’re familiar with Tarot or oracle decks, it’s in similar vein in that it offers guidance to whatever situation you are inquiring about.  And I’m running a Full MOON sale! so you can start out by getting your first reading with %22 OFF!

So let’s see what your guts have to say.  Give the free reading a try <3

Love and Guts,

DOC GOREBLOT