Distraction Action Goreblot Fortunes

“Maybe a spot of cocaine would help…”

Oh distractions. I cannot lie.  When it comes to to-do lists and checklists, I make them, but they’re never in an organized fashion.  I waste my time being distracted, so much so that I believe it is a disorder, it is chronic distraction, a real, very real problem.  I have all the good intent, but somewhere along the road when I have or am gaining momentum, I run amok and self-sabotage my efforts.  This happens through distractive impulses.  It’s like I can’t help it!

What happens is the priorities in my mind instantly get shuffled when a thought enters, a curiosity passes through nabbing my attention and without even thinking, I oblige it.  I satiate many of these thought impulses by following through, like looking up a question on Google, going to a store, leaving the room to look in another room.  It’s like the nagging is too much and since I know I can satisfy it if I act on it immediately, then I just do so.  Where’s the harm?

It’s an attention grabbing dance

A dance of distractions.  A dance of avoidance, because it seems so hard to just sit for a moment, unfurl and give in to one task.  All I need is enough focus for one task.  But it is such a struggle.  And the struggle is real my friends.

It’s incredible how much distractive habits can get the better of you.  Like pulling the lever over and over at the slot machine, waiting for the next combo of items to pop up and anticipating that satisfying winning feeling.  If the feeling doesn’t come right away, that’s ok, I’m on my ass anyways, might as well do another round, again, what’s the harm?

The chemicals are real and they want to steal my brain juice!

Amazing how much focus a distraction can steal.  Why is that? Why do all the click bait, Google searches, pacing around distractives get all the attention? Instant gratification.  The very fact that we get addicted to plugging into those sweet sweet dopamine centres (see what I did there? I inserted a link for you to go on a tangent and read more therefore encouraging this distractive habit).

We are forever chasing the next fix.  Or are we running from boredom and responsibility? Feeling itchy and unsettled with the quiet.  Feeling anxious to be with our own thoughts and unconnected to the world.  Anxious about missing out and getting that instant feedback.  Notifications are crack and for people like me that don’t get out much and connect with humans that often, it can be lethal.

There is definitely something to it all….

At least I can say I’m self aware.  I am very aware of this situation and I am trying to get myself out of the pickling that I throw myself into.

There are moments where I’ll get up and feel and see the environment around me and how big it is.  Like waking up and realizing there is still a world that’s real that surrounds my physical being.  It’s a breath of fresh air and sometimes literally when I’m able to drag myself outside.

goreblot fortunes time

Without further talk about distractions, to which I could run many tangents on and thoughts on – all the puns intended.  I bring you another episode of Goreblot fortunes. This time brought to you by the lovely stages of rosemary steeped in water.

rosemary in water

Thinking of a question or issue you’d like some guidance towards, pick a number and scroll down to find your corresponding Goreblot fortune. I paint and write each individual fortune through a reading style I call paintomancy. Please dive in and see what your guts have to say!

  1. Rosemary light

Disperse. Emergence.  Particle.  Immerse yourself into new depths.  You are discovering you have come to a point where you can really spread out and test your skills.  Question your limits and what limits you have set upon yourself.  Begin again with new defying wonder and curiosity of the simple ingredients that already exist in your cupboard.

Take your mind to new magics and new possibilities.  Awaken and explore.  You are as ready as a stream of cream becoming a huge cloud in it’s new coffee home.

At first, the simple space and freedom seems daunting, but you will find your edges. You will reach the perfect fit.  It just takes that first drip, that first drizzle or pour and then you open up the floodgates to a new world.

There’s the sense sometimes that unexplored territory is still somehow, somewhat familiar, yeah? Perhaps you explored it so much with your mind that physically going there was just making it more solid for you.

Perhaps this is why it took so long to initiate, you having visited this place so many times before with your mind.  You visited and explored all the angles so many times with your mind’s eye.

This is your time to initiate the real.  Begin and initiate beyond the spark of an idea.  Set into motion and explore and create.  Experiment and toy with the depths.  There is no losing in this action, only gaining such things as perspective, momentum and most certainly, insight.

So take a moment and rise above. Here’s your song to jam to for the coming weekend and week.

 

2. Rosemary medium
rosemary medium

We are such romantics sometimes when it comes to our expectations. We dream up situations and how its all going to go down. We anticipate the following steps to our one step. It’s exciting. Anticipation is the best feeling even before the final result as you get to imagine, excitedly, what is to come next.

Perhaps, not all situations are exciting. There’s the possibility that the delicate balance of excite can tip into anxiousness and nervousness. Notice at what point does it tip? Where does the excitement end and the anxiety begin? As if to say you can’t allow yourself the luxury of happy anticipation. It has to come crashing down with worry because the world has so many factors that could make it go wrong.

You find yourself suspended, blocked and paralyzed. You no longer want to anticipate happily, instead you default to crunching into a ball and biting your nails, drinking alcohol, or curling back into bed. All those succulent coping mechanisms come swirling in to soothe.

Why is anticipation so worrisome? At what point did you switch? The expectations then become external and you project them on what you think others expect from you. Soon your whole world becomes this one big demand on top of more demands but still nothing has budged.

So this is a call to reel (or real) yourself back in. Centre yourself and ground yourself with tangibles. Turn off your expectation projections and remind yourself of the joys of not knowing. Allow your future self to handle it however it is going to happen. And really see your present self in the process, getting lost in the steps and enjoying what is, no care of future expectations and bombardments because you know you have yourself covered. Right now.

Why put it off another day? Here’s your anthem for the weekend and coming week.

3. Rosemary dark
dark rosemary

Deep and glandular. The process has been seen through to this beautiful age. You can finish here whatever you have started. There is something really satisfying in following your process. Tracking each accomplished step, marking it and charting it.

Each step was satisfaction because you remained curious and open the entire time. There may have been some uncomfortable struggles, but you knew that was part of it, you’ve been there before. Uncomfortable struggles are what make us learn and grow. If we were comfortable all the time, we’d end up a potato, brain and organs, all potato.

Just remember this accomplishment, whether small or big. Take note, in fact, of all your triumphs. Spin a true tale of yourself when the going gets rough and do not let yourself slip into the trines of negative self-talk habits. You have the power to spin things around. You have worked hard and no one should have the power to take that away from you.

No one knows your history like you do.

Often times after seeing a project through to completion, there are stages of celebration and then stages of grievances. After the initial achievement, there is the inevitable come down from that high. It is imperative not to let the down define you or shake you out of your solid grounding and the foundation that you created for yourself. There is now more significant evidence and proof that you are capable and your endeavours are worthwhile.

Remember that. You are worthwhile and what you have done is something to celebrate and you have the power to continue on to the next adventure. Accept your brilliance, stand back and admire it from another angle. If you should ever forget or find the tug of negative habit, make a list of things that bring you up. Put up a visible reminder of things that you’ve accomplished and all your wonderful traits.

If you have photos, put those up. Anything to shine your capabilities to the stars and remind you of your power, your strength. It is in you and you have done it. Celebrate that, well done!

Get your game on and go play. Here’s your anthem for this weekend and the coming week.

Have a glorious weekend folks!

Love and Guts,
Doc Goreblot

Goreblot Ghost

doc goreblot looking at the comfort maple
Comfort Maple
“True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.” ~Francois de La Rochefoulcauld

In these winter days, time slips through my papery fingers like slippery sand granules.

When there are not many markers like a routine job to go to, any people I regularly see, or life milestones, I get lost adrift in my own world like an apparition. I become a ghost.

When I was living with my parents, my dad called me a ghost. He exclaimed, “I hardly ever see you, you always go up to your room.  You’re like a ghost in this house.”
My dad is now passed, so ironically he is now the ghost of the house. But, I can’t help but hear his words echo inside my ear these days.

Yes, I’ve been a ghost to this website. I’ve been a ghost to friends and social media. I’ve been but an apparition nervously flitting around trying to find the light.  Trying to find my way. Part of this ghosting is in my history and in my nature. Perhaps, some is due to my being adopted and having awkward attachment issues.

Soul searching can go on for a really, really long time. I think it’s a continuous process anyways. I’ve experimented with different dieting and exercise regime to shake me up and start seizing the day. I made lots of attempts that resulted in lots of failures. I’d make commitments to classes in hopes that somewhere attending those classes, I’d find myself.  Or gain some confidence.

I have been reading lots of self-help and philosophy books which I find do help (I’ll make a list below), but take up a good amount of time to read (because screen distraction in these times break up my attention span even more).  And reading doesn’t always offer immediate insight. But hold on, is there a rush? Insight seems to come at it’s own pace, I’ve found, and through experience.  I simply cannot rush insight, no matter how much I stare and squint at that pot waiting for it to boil. It’s one thing to read and philosophize about a concept and then preach about it, and it’s another thing to actually practice it. One needs to experiment and try things out and eventually something will happen where you will experience something and that’s where the knowledge of insight embeds itself unto/into you.  Take that self!

In these ghost days, I haven’t been completely still.  I have been getting a variety of readings like Tarot, practicing reading my own cards and doing some journalling. I’ve even tried out Past Life Regression, an unexpectedly vivid and intense experience where I gathered some interesting information.  With all these experiences, insights, my darlings, were weeping out of my pores.  But it still seemed like I was dancing around something.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

All of these fantastic attempts at finding some grounding, finding some purpose. But the key I found was finding simplicity and that there is no one key.  As things were expanding, there was some natural contracting to the heat of each moment. But keeping things simple and organized and clear, feels like a definite key to finding myself some grounding and stabilization.

I have anxiety issues that can tumble into depression. Or vice versa. I’ve been able to find the triggers, mostly, and surprise, those are in diet and physical stresses.  It can be so obvious, these straight forward cues, but somehow we can get so embedded in our habits, it’s tricky to remove yourself and look in.  It takes acceptance, and objective observance to really stab at what’s going on underneath the surface.

So back to simplicity- now, I am a person who never got structure drilled in at a young age. I was never told to do chores or make my bed. I didn’t have a particular time where I studied or did my homework, it was always last minute. So I have an extra hard time of creating my own structure.

looking out to the waters
Looking Out- Photo by Harley Pageot

I could sit and hideaway forever like a ghost and not have to deal with people and stressors, but I know as much as anyone I have an itch to scratch and part of that is to come out and seize a purpose that shapes my life. There is too much passion in me to be a ghost and flit about for too long.  There is only so much hiding and feeling sad about hiding that can be done.

I’ve returned to repeated points where I would get tired of myself, the same thoughts and patterns happening over and over. Tired of not putting a foot out there, tired of not trying hard enough.  My history speaks of attempts, but also I must not overlook the successes as they are proof that I can be more and do more.

Simplicity comes to me in form of not trying to tackle all the things, but methodically replacing the bad habits or inserting particular structures.  I also need a slight amount of effort to quiet that convincing drill sergeant in my head.  I’m sure you have one too, screaming in your ear, shouting demands and surely some painful insults to go with them.

To help quiet that sergeant just a little more, I need to remember, and have reminders that, I am enough.  I am worthwhile.

I always knew mornings had something to them every time I’ve attempted to integrate them into my life. Mornings are where things happen. And this is across the board in some research that I have read.  It really is as simple as aligning with nature, where quiet starts and awareness starts taking place.

I discovered making my bed every morning has snowballed into other structure making habits. This stuff is CBT, is yoga practice, is mindfulness, is Ayurveda – it all connects to this idea of simple awareness.  This return to mindful practice.

I can’t stress enough that it isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Especially, where we’re in a world now where our default is to claw around and wrestle with ‘busyness’, stress about future things, agonize about past things and fight for our time.  Time that seems steadily slipping through our key tapping fingers, our gaze, miles away from our bodies.

This is a time now to know that every moment is an opportunity.  An opportunity to live and feel how I want to feel.  Everything else, future worries, past regrets, are just phantoms.  I relinquish my self imposed ghost status as it no longer serves me.

I hope you do the same and become solid with me.

You can find me here, and also here, come say hi!

Love and Guts,

Doc Goreblot

**Here are some helpful books that I have found very useful.

-The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron Ph. D.

here